How long can a man go without intimacy? Every woman has probably asked this question. Psychologists and sexologists were looking for the answer. Let's figure out whether sex is a basic need, how long a man can abstain from intimacy and what consequences this can have.

Basic need

How long can a man go without intimacy? Sexologists say that intimacy is a basic need. But what is this most basic need? This is an incentive system that forces you to act in order to avoid death. Exhaustion or thirst, heat or cold, fatigue or malaise require the creation of safe conditions. Basic needs are food and water, sleep and air, in the absence of which the body dies.

So is sex a basic human need? And how long can a man go without intimacy? If sex really were one of the basic needs, a person could hardly last long without sexual intercourse, but some people can go without sex for quite a long time and do not experience any discomfort. And there are people for whom a few days of abstinence is a big problem.

It turns out that there are both men who are absolutely indifferent to sexual intimacy, and women who cannot go a day without sex. This often results in a problem such as a mismatch of temperament and intensity of desire with a partner. But let's return to the question of whether sex is a basic need. No. Rather, it is an incentive system.

Types of excitation

Most men (about 75%) have a spontaneous type of arousal, that is, desire appears quite quickly as a result of exposure to some stimulus. Only 15% of women have this type of arousal, and 30% are characterized by a reactive style, that is, desire appears when the partner begins to take the initiative. Slightly more than half of women (55%) experience both types of arousal depending on the circumstances.

How desire is formed

To figure out how much a healthy man can do without intimacy, you need to understand how attraction arises. This is an unconscious desire that can be triggered by a visual stimulus or natural body odor. The main reason that forms an addiction to a certain type of the opposite sex is the type of parents. So, if a man was raised by an overly emotional mother, then in adulthood he usually finds a partner who is inclined to sort things out, scandalous and capricious. It is almost impossible to build a strong relationship with such a woman, but it is for this man that this type of woman represents a sexually attractive object and arouses desire.

How long can a man go without intimacy? Exactly as long as it takes to see another sexually attractive object. As soon as this happens, a desire will appear, which (depending on the duration of the period of abstinence, temperament, state of health and age of the man) will sooner or later become obsessive. This leads either to the satisfaction of sexual hunger, or to sublimation - the redirection of energy to achieve an acceptable goal.

Sexual activity

The activity of the stronger sex and attitudes towards sex change significantly with age. As much as a man can do without intimacy at 40, it will be difficult for a twenty-year-old to withstand. At 20, testosterone levels are very high. Psychologists say that self-affirmation is important at this time; quantity (sexual contacts, sexual partners) is more important, not quality. Young men cannot last long without sex.

At the age of 30, representatives of the stronger sex are no longer so fixated on sexual intimacy. Other values ​​and priorities appear: usually family and career. A man gets married, has children, strives for financial well-being. This is very tiring, so sex often becomes just a means of relieving tension. During this period, sexologists note, diversity in sex life.

In addition, you have to adapt to the rhythm of life. It is possible to make love with a partner only when the children are still/already sleeping or are away from home. A person can easily redirect sexual energy into the professional sphere, so it seems that much less intimacy is needed at this age.

Age characteristics

It is most difficult for men under the age of twenty-five and women after twenty-seven to thirty-two to cope without regular and high-quality intimacy. Male sexuality peaks during puberty and continues until approximately twenty-five. At this time, a long absence of sex can lead to physical illness and even serious depression and psychological problems.

This condition can be quite painful, but usually all problems are effectively resolved through masturbation. Physiologically, an orgasm experienced independently and an orgasm experienced with a partner are no different. But the absence of sex in the presence of sexual desire leads to a decrease in the quality of life. There is no question of survival, but emotionally a person can suffer quite a lot.

Male masturbation

How long can a man be without intimacy? Considering the lack of differences in orgasm obtained as a result of masturbation and sexual contact with a partner, such a question does not arise at all. Usually men don’t think about how long they can go without sex, when their partner can be replaced by “manual work.”

For a man, achieving orgasm is a way of release, and for a woman it is a way to get closer, to feel the love and tenderness of a partner, and her attractiveness. According to statistics, 80% of men masturbate regularly. Moreover, these are adults, most of whom have beloved women and strong families. Fighting masturbation is pointless and, in principle, unnecessary.

Middle age crisis

How long can a man live without intimacy at 40? At this age, many people face the problem of a “midlife crisis.” According to sexologists, there is no significant difference between representatives of the stronger sex at 30 and 40 years old, but from a psychological point of view, the differences are obvious. Hormone levels decrease, so attraction does not occur as often. Fears are often added, which also drive away thoughts about sex.

A man at this age usually begins to take more care of his health and devote time physical fitness. The main fears are sexual dysfunction and prostatitis. But in reality the situation is not catastrophic. After forty, men become sensual lovers who are focused not on the number of sexual victories, but on the quality of the relationship with their regular partner.

Opinion of sexologists

How long can a man go without intimacy? Experts agree that this is almost impossible to determine. Much depends on the age and personal temperament of the man, the presence and temperament of a permanent partner, visual and other stimuli that excite sexual attraction. Sexologists say that a man can do without sex as much as he wants and considers necessary.

However, in most cases, patience lasts a maximum of three weeks. Further, due to abstinence, dissatisfaction appears, the quality of life noticeably deteriorates, and physical and psychological disorders arise. There is an opinion that the male body without regular sex ages much faster and wastes physical health. The psyche of the stronger sex suffers especially. Over time, the brain blocks the production of sperm, which in the most severe cases can lead to infertility.

Female characteristics

It’s clear how many days a man can go without intimacy—about 21 days. What about women? After all, the “laws of attractiveness” of the sexes are very different. Experts say women can negative consequences For psychological and physical health, do without intimacy for two months. Women, for example, often refuse sex during pregnancy. This occurs due to hormonal changes and fear for the preservation of the fetus.

At the same time, intimacy as such is by no means alien to the weaker sex. Each one has various reasons There are breaks in intimate life. Women usually find a solution the same as single men - for those who do not accept casual relationships, masturbation helps quite effectively and quickly. Some people sublimate libido, live physically active lives, explore their sexuality on their own, or simply analyze their own sexual past. A visit to a sexologist or psychologist who specializes in such problems will help improve your sex life.

What is frigidity

There are (albeit rarely) quite serious cases - a woman does not feel desire in a sensual environment, there are no pleasant sensations during sexual intercourse, she cannot experience an orgasm, fear and aversion to sex arises. In this case, sexologists talk about frigidity, which is a pathological deviation.

All the reasons that lead to frigidity are usually divided into several groups: symptomatic frigidity occurs during painful conditions of various kinds, retardation is associated with the maturation of sensuality (the ability to experience orgasm in some women is formed only by the age of 23-25), constitutional involves complete or almost complete lack of libido.

Male frigidity also happens - and this is not impotence at all. In this case, a man may not want sex for quite a long time, up to several years. Sexual desire usually occurs again when the causes of frigidity (illness, stress or fatigue) are eliminated. It’s a little more complicated with age, artificial suppression of sexuality (when a man spends a long time in a same-sex environment), and the development of homosexuality.

Consequences of abstinence

Long-term abstinence can lead to health problems. During sexual contact, hormones are released that improve mood and restore psychological balance. Without them, the risk of developing depression with its consequences increases.

According to sexologists, refusal of sex life leads to unreasonable aggression and loss of control over emotions. The other side of the issue is physical health. After abstinence for more than one year, potency may not be restored. In some cases, medical intervention helps, but not always.

Sexual abstinence- a thing in our life is not so rare. For example, a quarrel with a husband often results in a protracted sexual war until the enemy agrees to regularly take out the trash can. Or the partner decides to sublimate himself into work - and now the bed is overgrown with cobwebs. But is abstinence really as harmless as they say?

Candidate of Medical Sciences, psychotherapist, sexologist A.M. Poleev:

- In general, abstinence is a rather dangerous thing. For men - in terms of physical health, and for women - mental health. It is among the fair sex that voluntary refusal of sex is common, for example, if a woman does not have a permanent partner, and she does not want to “sleep with just anyone.” Men solve this problem simply. If a man does not have a beloved woman, he goes to the unloved one and somehow satisfies his needs. And among the stronger sex, abstinence is therefore most often forced (for example, during military service).

Research shows that a woman's long-term abstinence from sex can create big problems for her. masturbation. But if men almost always engage in it (even when everything is in order with their sex life), then a woman, with voluntary abstinence, often refuses it too. But if it is very difficult for you to endure abstinence, and going to bed “with just anyone” is not in your moral principles, it is quite possible to engage in self-satisfaction.

Sexologist Irina Gumennikova:

- In addition to the purely psychological consequences of abstinence (sexual abstinence), sexual function also suffers in both men and women.

In men, during abstinence, erection may be disrupted, problems with ejaculation. Moreover, the consequences for the body depend both on the age of the man and on the duration of abstinence. If he is 25 and has a strong sexual temperament, then it will be difficult to endure even two weeks without sex, but regardless of the duration of abstinence, this will not affect sexual function in any way.

At the age of 30-35 years, a break in sexual activity for several months can lead to premature ejaculation and worsening erection. But, as a rule, this goes away when the usual sexual rhythm is restored. If a man is 40 years old, he may even require serious treatment from a sex therapist. And at the age of over 50, a break of two to three months can lead to the cessation of sexual activity forever.

In women, abstinence first leads to a sharp increase in desire, and then, after a few months, it may disappear completely. Moreover, after resuming sexual activity, a woman may experience discomfort and even pain in the vagina, since due to abstinence it begins to produce less lubricant. And the excitement will not grow so quickly. By the way, problems with discharge may also arise. Orgasm during a long period of abstinence may “return” only after a few months.

What to do? First, after a period of abstinence, you should ask your partner to extend foreplay longer. If, with a normal rhythm of sexual life, a woman needs 15 minutes, now it takes at least 30 to awaken the “dormant” erogenous zones.

It would be ideal if a man brought you to orgasm through cunnilingus. With such stimulation, almost all women receive a full-fledged, vibrant orgasm even after prolonged abstinence. And for vaginal intercourse you should use additional lubrication until it again “learns” to produce the required amount.

If it turns out that it was not you, but your man, who abstained for a long time, then here too you need to follow several recommendations.

Since the longer the period of abstinence, the more a man is afraid whether everything will be fine in bed, you must be as tactful as possible. Ridicule or reproaches for male incompetence can lead to serious sexual problems. Therefore, even if something doesn’t work out for a man, just tell him that he is valuable to you primarily as a person, and not as a sexual partner, and that next time everything will be much better.

Candidate of Medical Sciences, sexologist Yuriy Prokopenko:

- Abstinence can really do a lot of harm, but you shouldn’t think that “for health” you need to have sex all day long. First of all, you need to have an intimate life as often as you want. It is known that regular sex is an excellent prevention of prostatitis in men and gynecological diseases in women if they arise due to stagnation of blood in the pelvis (for example, during arousal). On average, a person under the age of 30 makes love 4-5 times a week, up to 40 - 3-4 times, up to 50 years - 2-3 times, but the frequency of sexual activity depends on temperament and psychological characteristics.

If you have sex less often than you want, if you restrain yourself, then hormonal balance may be disrupted and blood stagnation may occur. And if you force yourself to go to bed when there is no particular desire, trying to cure something in this way, if not physiological, then psychological problems may arise. So don’t make sex an “obligation”!

Before using the medications listed on the website, consult your doctor.

It is necessary not only for procreation, but also for keeping the body young and healthy. If we talk about women, long-term abstinence can lead to poor circulation in the pelvic area. Sometimes this can negatively affect the health of the genital organs. But don’t worry if you don’t have a sexual partner for some time; sometimes it’s not as scary as it seems.

Sometimes the reason is long absence of a sexual partner because of travel, because men often go on business trips, join the army or actively work until late in order to provide for their family. Sometimes the reason may be the presence of a mistress, because then he will want sex with his wife less. Often the lack of sex life is due to the fact that a woman does not have a partner. It doesn’t matter at all what caused it, it’s worth figuring out how to live with it.

A couple of months of abstinence won't do any harm.. What are the consequences of long-term abstinence? Doctors have already proven the fact that 2-3 months without sex are not a threat women's health. That's why do something else and don't worry. You can improve your health using vitamins. Additionally, undergo an examination so that, while you do not have an intense sex life, you can determine the state of your health and strengthen it. Don’t be afraid of unexpected consequences; most often these are unnecessary experiences that are not supported by anything.

How to live with this? Unfortunately, many women live for years without sex, which is certainly not the norm. But in in this case everything depends solely on your perception of this issue and your ability to put up with the current situation. If you can’t change anything at the moment, then don’t be upset or nervous. This will make you look worse, age faster and become an unhappy woman. If you radiate happiness and joy, then men will perceive you as an attractive person. You can learn to live without sex, the main thing is to want to.

Some people prefer put up, and someone is actively looking for a partner to brighten up their lonely evening. In principle, changing partners can also be a solution, if this is acceptable to you, just try to achieve internal harmony.

First of all, stop focus on this. There are many areas of activity in the world in which a woman can realize herself. Don't just think about the fact that you don't have sex and how you can solve it. Believe me, sooner or later the one who will give you a lot of pleasure and will be able to provide you with a rich sex life will appear in your life, but if you bother and think only about this, then you will only scare away men, or vice versa - only those will be drawn to you who only needs sex from you and nothing else.

Prepare yourself to meet your future partner. If you have already come to terms with the fact that you do not have sex, then do not exclude the possibility that you will soon have a partner. This is why you must be prepared for intimacy. Start taking care of yourself, and soon you won’t even notice how this process is dragging you down. Update your wardrobe to part with the past and tune in to a new relationship. This way you will feel like a completely different person and can even try on the role of a fatal temptress.

Buy several sets sexy lingerie, because even psychologists have proven that a woman in beautiful lingerie feels more confident. Start exercising and adjust your diet to get rid of excess weight and become even more attractive.

Following these recommendations, many women who live without sex for a long time suddenly find themselves in strong men's hands and hear words of declaration of love. Often this even leads to a marriage proposal. The secret is that self-confidence and attractive appearance- this is a real magnet for men, although not all women understand this. If you have been without sex for a long time, then the “love me as I am” attitude is not applicable to you. This means you are doing something wrong.

Don't forget about self-satisfaction. Something that many people are ashamed to talk about, but something that almost everyone does is masturbation. In fact, in many cases, this is a great solution for single people who haven't had sex in a while. Universal option, because you don’t need to make any effort. This way you can improve blood circulation in the pelvic area, you will fall asleep better and stop thinking only about sex. Of course, this will not replace a living person, but it will distract you for a while. Masturbation is considered to be something indecent, shameful and unnatural, but for a single woman this may well be the only acceptable option.

Maybe it's time to change something? Whatever one may say, a woman needs not only sex, but also love, affection and attention. A man will be able to make her happy and give her the care that every representative of the fair sex needs. If the years go by and you still can’t find that one and only, then maybe it’s time to change something. Tell your acquaintances and friends that you are actively searching, start communicating more and wear more often short skirt and shoes with heels, because they are so feminine. It’s stupid to expect sex if you constantly go around without makeup, in wide trousers and with a ridiculous bun on your head.

Learn to radiate femininity, become more graceful, look at men with different eyes. You shouldn’t be overly frank in your outfits, it’s enough to give a hint and, who knows, maybe this unexpected meeting will end in a wedding and happy family with the kids.

Absence intimate relationships may be caused by various reasons. Another question is how a woman reacts to this gap. Some people resign themselves to this and decide to wait “until better times.”

Others begin to panic, trying to look for signs of dissatisfaction. And there are those who consciously refused any sexual contacts for individual reasons.

All three types of reactions to a situation have the right to exist, and there have never been deaths from a lack of intimate moments in life. A woman can last a month, six months, ten years and indefinitely without sex. Another question is what consequences this “voluntary celibacy” has for mental and physical health.

The first phrase with which an appointment with doctors - a gynecologist, mammologist or endocrinologist begins - will be about the regularity of sexual relations. And this is not at all idle curiosity. This is a criterion by which not only a woman’s general health is assessed, but also her hormonal levels and possible problems with the reproductive system.

Therefore, it is criminal to exclude the danger of lack of sex. Here are a number of harmful consequences that can affect a girl deprived of physical intimacy:

• Weak protection against viruses and infections. Again, those same beneficial hormones produced during sex support immune cells. Scientists have proven that women in relationships with the opposite sex get sick 30% less often than “loners”;
• Premature aging. Women's skin condition continues to be one of the most pressing problems. All kinds of creams, masks and massages will be powerless if the body does not produce collagen. But with sexual abstinence, this process practically does not occur, so a long absence of sex threatens the appearance of wrinkles;
• Inflammations on the skin. Adolescence and all its characteristic problems with facial imperfections receive a “second wind” if a woman does not pay attention to her sex life. Again, it's all my fault hormonal disbalance, which is inevitable if a lady neglects carnal pleasures. So the presence of pimples and blackheads on the skin is a clear sign of a lonely woman;
• Weight gain. Hormonal imbalance, as well as lack of physical activity directly affects the process of the body depositing hated fat in the waist and hips. Of course, sex cannot be called a worthy alternative to the gym. But, this is at least a nice addition;
• Gynecological diseases. Congestion in the pelvic organs and lack of “natural exercise” cause muscle weakness, painful periods and other women’s problems.

Mental changes from long-term abstinence

When a girl goes without a man for a long time, and here we are talking not only about sex, but also about other areas of life, then she changes a lot internally. If speak about social role in society, then such individuals can fully compete with the powers that be, sometimes taking on an exorbitant burden.

Being lonely, a girl is forced to behave like a man, while forgetting about sensitivity, emotionality and weakness. And here we get a vicious circle. How more woman alone, the less chance she will be able to build a harmonious relationship with her partner.

A long absence of orgasm provokes the development of frigidity. The body “forgets” about ways to achieve pleasure, nerve impulses from erogenous zones become weaker. Once sensitive points “fade out” and become deactivated.

Sexologists disagree on how irreversible this process is. But one thing is clear: if a woman has denied herself the joys of sex for several years, then it will be almost impossible for her to achieve pleasure. And only the correct behavior of a partner, coupled with patience and love, will help awaken the body’s dormant reactions to stimulation and sexual intercourse.

In addition, the female psyche really suffers from the impossibility of “discharge.” The most harmless symptoms of abstinence are presented below:

• Emotional disruptions. Once stable nervous system It's like being on a roller coaster. Excessive activity and complete apathy, replacing each other several times during the day, become the norm. A dissatisfied woman is more often irritated by little things, criticizes everything that surrounds her, and is unreasonably offended;
• Decreased performance. Even simple things become an insoluble problem. The workday has just begun, but I have no strength, even coffee can’t save me. And all because the body does not receive proper discharge, does not relieve tension and is in an excited state. As a result, natural energy-saving protection is activated. The woman seems to be “hibernating”, weakly reacting to any events around her;

Interesting!

Regular sex life has a positive effect on memory. But only for women. In men, this phenomenon is not observed.

• Insomnia. During sexual intercourse, hormones are released into the blood - endorphin, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and prolactin. The latter is responsible for general relaxation of the body. In its absence, interruptions in sleep begin. At the same time, the body feels mortally tired, but it still fails to fall into oblivion. A woman who does not get enough sleep looks bad - circles under her eyes, gray skin. In addition, it is characterized by scattered attention and the inability to concentrate on a specific task.

Methods for resolving the situation

Of course, the most objective option is to find a partner. But a woman can rarely ignore her feelings when having sex “for the sake of health.” There are several tips on how to slow down unwanted processes in the psyche:

• Sublimation. Into work, art, creativity - everything that will help transfer the accumulated energy in the right direction;
• Sport. Active physical activity will keep the body in good shape, preventing it from becoming too “slimp”;
• Self-satisfaction. The nature of orgasm is such that it is possible to achieve it alone. Of course, this is not very reminiscent of full-fledged sexual intercourse, but at least it will help reduce tension.

It is stupid to argue that sex is a natural need of the body. Both men and women equally need intimate contact. And, despite the stereotypes that only the stronger sex needs “this,” the lack of regular sexual intercourse has a much stronger effect on girls.

Video on topic

“Every woman has breaks in her intimate life for various reasons. For some they last two or three days, for others two or three weeks, and there are those who have not experienced the delights of sexual life for months or even years. One of my friends, by the way, a wonderful girl, beautiful, smart and incredibly sexy, had no intimacy with a man for almost two years. And not because there is anything wrong with her. It's like that! It’s just that at first she unrequitedly loved one scoundrel, and couldn’t imagine anyone else next to her, and then for a long time she could not meet a worthy one. And she won’t go to bed with just anyone, that’s her principle.

Looking at her, I thought, how can a woman live without sex? My friend always said: “Yes, easily!” But I don’t believe her, even if you kill me. As if ours beautiful ladies They didn’t swear or swear that sex is not the main thing for them and that they can live without it for a very long time, I am deeply convinced that they are lying. And I’m ready to argue for this.

Firstly, the lack of intimacy is harmful to health, both emotional and physical. And women are not stupid, they understand this very well. If a person does not satisfy his sexual needs, he suffers from mood swings, nervousness, and may become depressed. In addition, living without physical contact with a man, a woman begins to feel inferior. Like, since men don’t want her, it means there’s something wrong with her.

Yes and on reproductive system lack of sex affects in the most unfavorable way. It’s not for nothing that mastopathy, breast cancer, etc. are considered nuns’ ailments. And gynecologists, as far as I know, always ask their patients whether they are sexually active. Not without reason!

If a woman has not had intimacy for a long time, then, as far as I know, she generally stops enjoying this process. So, let’s say, she forgets how to have sex and becomes frigid. And if she suddenly unexpectedly meets her prince, then how will she, with this frigidity of hers, continue to live with him?

Finally, the lack of sex most directly affects a woman’s character. The most benevolent and peace-loving beauty without sex turns into an evil grump, an old maid and an unsatisfied bitch, offended by the whole world. After that, let alone go to bed with her, she’s scared to talk, she’s just about to be killed!

In a word, no matter how our lovely ladies swagger, no matter how they prove that sex in a woman’s life does not play a big role, I am deeply convinced that this is not so. And if she does not have intimacy with a man for months, then this happens not because she does not want, but because she is not wanted. However, maybe someone will argue with me?

Regards, Alexey.