The family is the primary unit of education. A lot of the child’s future depends on her. What parenting style adults prefer in relation to the baby will determine his future life.

It is important to understand the appropriateness of certain requirements, punishments and rewards. You need to know the pros and cons of the styles used in education. This will help build the most favorable relationship with your child.

Family is the initial stage in a child’s development

The family is the primary unit of society in which the upbringing and development of the child begins. It is so multifaceted that it can either create a healthy personality or destroy it. The child's needs and desires are either encouraged or a barrier is created that prevents self-realization.

Each family has its own interests and values, and has the unique experience of previous generations. The future character of children depends on what these indicators are. After all, they react very sensitively to the behavior of their parents and internalize it as normal for the whole society. This is where the problems of education arise.

Parents, as the first educators, have the greatest influence on children. Therefore, they also have an advantage over representatives of preschool institutions, which also take part in the development of the child. In a healthy family, favorable contact is established between adults and children. They have the same goals and aspirations. This brings spiritual satisfaction to all its members. Such a family is no stranger to the manifestation of parental love, care and respect from children.

The formation of a child’s personality is influenced by the style of upbringing in the family. Parents can influence their children through reinforcement when they become correct behavior depends on encouraging those actions of their child that seem right to them. In the second situation, everything is based on imitation. The child copies the behavior of his parents in order to become the same as them, without realizing whether this is right or wrong. And finally, a family in which the main mechanism of education is understanding. Here, parents respect the interests and needs of their baby, respond to his problems, thus raising a communicative and conscious personality.

Does much depend on the style of family education?

The style of raising a child in a family involves the behavior and attitudes of parents towards their children. There are three styles: authoritarian, democratic and liberal. Each of them has its own characteristics and consequences.

In authoritarian upbringing, the child perceives the wishes of the parents as a law for himself. However, adults do not even suspect that they are suppressing children in this way. They demand unquestioning obedience, without explaining the reasons for such instructions. Strict control over a child’s life is not always carried out correctly. The result of such upbringing is isolation and disruption of the child’s communication with his parents. Such children are less independent and lack self-confidence. Only a small part of them conflict with their parents, defending their positions.

Advice for parents

If this situation reminds you of yourself, then you should urgently take action and soften your tight control over the child. You need to stop putting pressure on the baby and give him the opportunity to express himself. Be more supportive of your child's desires, interests and hobbies. If you don’t want your child to grow up to be a withdrawn, fearful and insecure person, work on your parenting style.

Democratic

It is believed that the democratic style is the most favorable in raising the younger generation. Parents not only take care of discipline, but also do not interfere with their children’s independence. In such a family, the child fulfills his responsibilities, but at the same time his rights are not infringed. Parents respect the opinions of their children and therefore consult with them when necessary. There is no excessive guardianship in such families, so children listen to explanations of what can be done and what should not be done. In a democratic style there are no big conflicts.

Another feature of such upbringing is moderation. That is, children do not have excessive aggressiveness, they are capable of becoming leaders, they can control those around them, but they themselves are practically not amenable to manipulation from the outside. They are quite sociable and easily adapt to life in society. However, there are also traits that are found only in a small part of the younger generation in families with a democratic upbringing style. This is sensitivity, the ability to put oneself in another person’s place, and altruism.

Advice for parents

The democratic style presupposes respect for the child’s attitudes and himself. Therefore, maintain friendly relations with your child, but do not get carried away, maintain your authority so that in the future the child can rely on you and trust you.

Liberal

The liberal style of education is also called permissive, and, apparently, for good reason. After all, parents in such families practically do not care for their children. There are no prohibitions or restrictions for them. This is not very good because the child may get hit Negative influence in the future and even raise a hand against your parents. And such children have practically no values.

Advice for parents

It is not very good when a child is left to his own devices. If you don't want him to contact you in the future bad company, was subject to outside influence, change your tactics before it’s too late. Introduce some rules and responsibilities that all family members must follow. Spend more time with your child and work with him. Do not allow the child to be without control at all.

Based on the results of upbringing in a family, we can identify children who are self-confident, able to control their own behavior, do not avoid new situations and almost always remain in good mood. It is more difficult for children who avoid communication to establish contacts with peers. They are afraid of new events, try to run away from them, and their mood can be called sad. Refusals from stressful situations can often be observed in immature children. As a rule, they have poor self-control and lack self-confidence.

Thus, in order to raise self-sufficient, self-confident children, you need to be able to correctly combine control and democracy in family education. Both indicators must be optimal. At the same time, you need to accept the child and his interests as they are.

The parenting style is deposited in the child’s psyche as the norm. This happens rather unconsciously, as it begins in preschool age. When a person grows up, he reproduces this style as natural.

To raise children successfully, you need to find something in between styles. Identification and dependence should not be too strong, but their complete absence is unacceptable. Children's behavior is a reflection of family upbringing. Therefore, the child’s further behavior will depend precisely on the experience gained in the family.

A little about types of education

Each family develops a certain system of education. It is based on the relationship between the child and parents. Thus, we can distinguish 4 types of raising children in a family: non-interference, dictate, cooperation and guardianship.

In a family with dictate The child's dignity and autonomy are systematically suppressed. If such decisions are justified, then parents have the right to make certain demands on their children, but only when the situation requires it. However, if parents influence the child, humiliating his pride, they are met with sharp protest. Thus, children become hypocritical, rude, often deceive, and sometimes hate their parents. If this resistance breaks down, then activity, independence, and self-confidence are suppressed.

A family in which the leading type of education is guardianship , protects his children from external difficulties and worries. Parents try to satisfy any needs of the baby. Children, as a rule, are not ready to face reality. It is difficult for them to establish contact with people, their independence is undeveloped, and they are not able to make decisions.

Non-interference is built on the independent existence of parents and children. Thus, two worlds are built, between which a line is drawn, and both sides have no right to step beyond it. In this situation, parents are passive as educators.

Otherwise it will be built cooperation . In such a family there are common goals and values; it can be called a team in another way. The advantage of this type of education is that the child will never grow up to be selfish.

What does this or that type of education lead to?

By adhering to a democratic parenting style, parents can establish a good relationship with their children. Children grow up to be independent, responsible, active, and show initiative. The democratic style allows you to guide the child's behavior flexibly and consistently. The parent's requirements are always explained, and the child's discussion of them is only encouraged. As for power, it is also present, but only in those cases where it is most appropriate. In such families, not only the child’s obedience is valued, but also his independence. There are rules by which parents act, while listening to the child’s opinion, but not based on it.

The remaining parenting styles do not provide much good results. Thus, an authoritarian type of relationship alienates children from their parents and makes them feel insignificant. Children feel unwanted in the family. Unreasonable demands of parents in the first case cause aggressive behavior and protest, and in the second - passivity and apathy. If children are raised in families with a liberal type of relationship, they feel unnecessary. Such parents cannot become a role model for the child, and the resulting gap in upbringing cannot be filled by anyone else. The “I” of such children is very weak.

Despite all the negative aspects, the authoritarian method continues to live and exist in families. This is due, firstly, to experience that is passed on from generation to generation. Such parents remember how difficult it was for them, but still build similar relationships with their children. Secondly, they play a role public relations. Thirdly, all the negativity experienced during the day in transport, queues, etc., parents take out on their children. And finally, fourthly, this is an understanding of force as a way to resolve any conflicts.

Authoritarianism towards a child does not meet with any protests, but conflicts can be expected from a teenager. At the same time, parents pay for their old mistakes. It is important to remember that you need to develop your personality from an early age, and not wait adolescence. By this time, the style of the relationship has already taken shape, so it is not possible to replay it.

Dependent behavior as a consequence of parenting styles

Each style of relationship in the family, no matter how positive it was, causes the formation of dependent behavior in the child. One of the forms of such a result of upbringing includes attracting child's attention due to quarrels, aggressive behavior, failure to comply with the will of the parents. It occurs when the mother is engaged in any business, but not with the baby. In another case, it is the daughter's attachment to her father. If the latter leaves home for a long time, this causes aggression in the baby.

The second form of addictive behavior is search for confirmation . It manifests itself in the great demands of parents regarding the child’s achievements. This form is typical for families where the daughter is attached to the father or, conversely, the son to the mother. When children feel jealousy and high demands on the part of the second parent or the absence of such factors, they exhibit dependent behavior.

Another form of addictive behavior is seeking approval . The child directs all his efforts to this. This behavior is typical for girls, whom mothers consider similar to themselves, take little part in caring for them and encourage their dependence. In boys, this phenomenon is observed if he is rarely punished and his antics are tolerated.

The fourth form of addictive behavior is "stay close" . It manifests itself when the child does not know how to behave correctly, if the mother treats him as less mature than he really is, and does not trust the father because of actions in the opposite direction.

And finally touching and holding others child. This behavior manifests itself when parents show low demands and are completely devoid of anxiety for the baby.

How children are raised today

The family influences the development of a person’s personal qualities from his very birth. The characteristics of raising children in a family determine the further development of the child. If adults do not take part in raising a child, they will not be able to become an object of imitation for him. Dominance over children should not be allowed under any circumstances.

Increasingly, modern parents resort to the help of other people because of their own busyness. Children who are raised by a nanny do not receive the necessary warmth and love. It is allowed to leave the baby with relatives or with someone else for a short period. The child will benefit from a change of environment, and he will also gain new communication experiences.

It is worth talking about parental responsibility in a modern family. Situations are increasingly being observed where children are left to their own devices. It is also a misconception that parents believe that children receive the necessary education in preschool institution or school. Today, parents limit their responsibilities to checking the diary or attending school meetings.

Parents should not forget about their children. It is important to take part in their lives, know their interests, meet their friends and be curious about where they spend their free time. If you are calm in presenting your demands and avoid violence, the child will definitely listen to you. Raising children in a modern family should be based on mutual respect. Therefore, you need to treat your children as you would treat yourself.

Educational program on the topic

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The family is an intellectual and intermediary link in transmitting to the child socio-historical experience, and, above all, the experience of emotional and democratic relationships between people, the experience of relating to phenomena and products of life.

The family performs a number of functions important for society, necessary for the life of every person: it is educational, reproductive, household, social control, and the function of organizing leisure time.

The style of family education is of great importance in the development of a child’s personality.

Family education is a controlled system of relationships between parents and children, and the leading role in it belongs to parents. ( Annex 1)

There are several different classifications family styles education. And everyone family education style its characteristics.

The model of American psychologist Diana Baumrind is considered basic.

1. Level of emotional acceptance of the child by parents
2. Level of parental control

And thanks to the combinations of these criteria, four styles of family education were identified.

1. Authoritative
2. Authoritarian
3. Indifferent
4. Liberal

Peculiarities

The name speaks for itself. Parents in the family occupy leading positions, being the authority for the child. This style is characterized by warm emotional acceptance of the child and a high level of control on the part of adults. With this style of communication, parents are focused on the child’s personality, his active role in the family, and his own life. The child is brought up as an independent, original person. In such a family, there is practically no physical punishment or verbal aggression; parents try to use logic in communicating with children and strive to come to an agreement. They respect themselves and their children. Parents have good life experience and are responsible for their children.

Parents who adhere to this style are characterized by:

• active positive attitude towards the child;
• adequate assessment of its capabilities, successes and failures;
• they are characterized by a deep understanding of the child, the goals and motives of his behavior;
• the ability to predict the development of a child’s personality.

• High self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-control.
• The ability to make decisions independently and be responsible for one’s actions.
• Initiative and determination.
• The ability to build close and friendly relationships with others.
• Ability to negotiate and find compromise solutions.
• Having your own opinion and the ability to take into account the opinions of others.

If you have managed to establish such relationships in your family, share your experience with others!

Peculiarities

Parents who adhere to this style demand high achievements from the child, punish for failures, strictly control, invade the child’s personal space, suppress by force, decide for the child what is best for him, are not interested in the child’s personal opinion, and do not recognize his rights. “As I said, so it will be,” “I’m a parent, so I’m right.”

With this style of parenting, the child does not have the opportunity to take initiative, since all issues relating to his life are decided by the parent alone, without his participation. An authoritarian parenting style involves resolving conflicts using the “carrot and stick” method, prohibitions and threats, rather than finding a compromise solution.

Consequences

During adolescence, parental authority loses its strength and the fear of parents, characteristic of an authoritarian parenting style, disappears. Therefore, in such families at this age a large number of conflicts often arise; children become “uncontrollable”, because all previous means of parental influence lose their power.

The characteristic personality traits of a child raised in an authoritarian style may include the following options:

Option 1 – development of a weak life position:

• loss of self-esteem;
• loss of the ability to make decisions, to be responsible for choice;
• a loss own desires(“what do I want?”);

Option 2 – development of a despotic personality:

• hatred of parents;
• resolving issues only by force (whoever is stronger is right);
• rude, cynical, despotic and boorish behavior and attitude towards others;
• increased aggressiveness and conflict.

• Consider the child’s position, his motives, desires and experiences. Try putting yourself in his shoes for a while!
• Try to give instructions in the form of a proposal, rather than a command or order.
• Try not to speak dryly and distantly, but in a confidential, emotional tone.
• Prohibitions and penalties must be clear to the child, discussed with him in advance and accepted by both parties (parents and child).
• Any censure should be addressed not to the child’s personality, but to his specific actions. You cannot say “You are a deceiver!” It is better to formulate the phrase as follows: “I was very unpleasant when I found out that in this situation you told a lie.”
• Do not enter the child's room without knocking or in the absence of the owner. Don't touch his personal belongings. Try to respect your child's personal space, whatever it may be.
• Do not eavesdrop on telephone conversations.
• It is necessary to leave the teenager the right to choose friends, clothes, music, etc.
• Sincerely explain how you feel when you are upset, but do not remember old, long-standing sins, but talk about the current situation. However, never put pressure, physically punish, or humiliate.
• Become more tolerant of teenagers' shortcomings. Notice in your child as often as possible those virtues that are characteristic of their nature.

INDIFFERENT PARENTING STYLE

Peculiarities

And the most unfavorable from the point of view of the formation of the child’s psyche and personality development is the indifferent style of family education. Here to the negatives characteristics previous family education style there is also a lack of warmth towards the child. The child is treated with disdain, ignoring his emotional needs. These are cases, most likely, of an accidental or unwanted appearance of a child in a family. Well, since you were born, live, but don’t interfere.

Consequences

With an indifferent style of family education, children may develop emotional alienation, anxiety, isolation and distrust of others. There is a danger of children becoming involved in antisocial groups because parents are unable to control their actions. Most often, in indifferent families, children grow up either irresponsible and insecure, or, on the contrary, uncontrollable and impulsive. IN best case scenario Children of such parents still become strong, creative, active people. The formation of personality in this case largely depends on the environment outside the family.

• Get involved in your child's life. Be an active participant in all his interests, take the initiative.
• Create a clear system of prohibitions so that the child feels the line of permissibility.
• Discuss his responsibilities and rights in the family, give him an assignment around the house that will be assigned to him.
• Show “warmth”, speak “heart to heart”, try to transform the relationship into friendly and benevolent. Talk to him about topics that interest him, this way you will show how important the child is to you.
• Love him and don't be afraid to tell him about it.

LIBERAL PARENTING STYLE (PERMISSIBLE)

Peculiarities

With this style of parenting, the parent creates “freedom”, independence and relaxedness in the child, allows him to do absolutely everything he wants, without imposing any restrictions. The parent does not help or interfere with the teenager, and does not take any part in the development of his personality.

The liberal style of communication presupposes a tactic of non-interference, the basis of which, in essence, is indifference and disinterest in the child’s problems. General Features Liberal and authoritarian styles of communication, despite their apparent opposition, are distant relationships, lack of trust, obvious isolation, alienation, demonstrative emphasizing of one’s dominant position.

Consequences

With a liberal education style, the following options for personal development are possible:

Option 1 – free, but indifferent:

• inability to experience intimacy and affection;
• indifference towards loved ones (“these are not my problems, I don’t care”)
• lack of desire to take care of someone, help, support;
• little “warmth of soul”.

Option 2 – personality “without inhibitions” and “without inhibitions”:

• rudeness and permissiveness;
• theft, lies, promiscuity;
• irresponsibility, inability to “keep one’s words.”

• Change your communication tactics and attitude towards your child. Try to restore mutual trust and respect.
• Establish a system of prohibitions and become involved in the teenager’s life.
• Help him participate in the life of the family, clearly outline the child’s functional responsibilities in the family, your requirements and expectations.
• Create family council, where many problems of the whole family would be solved.
• Show “warmth” to your child, emphasize his importance and exclusivity to you, talk to him and ask for his opinion.
• Remember that your child needs your sincere participation in his life!

These styles are not always manifested in their pure form in the family. Parents in different situations can use different styles education. For example, in a situation of conflict, parents act by diktat, but in “peacetime,” on the contrary, they allow connivance. However, such alternation of styles, such inconsistency, also adversely affects the child. It is necessary to establish a unified parenting style in the family that is understandable to the child, taking into account his needs and capabilities.

It cannot be said unequivocally that only family parenting style influences the formation of the child’s personality, however, the likelihood of the appearance of certain traits depending on the style of family upbringing increases or decreases.

Dear parents! I suggest you take a test to determine the parenting style in your family ( Appendix 2).

Please answer the test questions by choosing from the four proposed answer options the one that most matches your family's educational system.

There are 4 types of education: authoritative, authoritarian, liberal, indifferent.

Authoritative (democratic). The educator (teacher, parent) is aware of his importance in the development of the child’s personality, but also recognizes his right to self-development. He soberly understands which requirements need to be dictated and which ones need to be discussed. Within reasonable limits, I am ready to reconsider my positions and compromise.

Liberal. An adult values ​​the child highly, considers his weaknesses excusable, communicates easily, trusts the child’s opinion, and is not prone to prohibitions, restrictions and control. But is a child capable of such freedom? Each age has its own characteristics, and a liberal style of upbringing will do more harm to a small child than help.

Authoritarian. An adult has a good idea of ​​how must to be a child and makes every effort to bring him closer to the “ideal”. Categorical demands, intransigence, and excessive demands are the main components of authoritarian relations.

Indifferent (permissive) . Problems of upbringing are not paramount for an adult. The child has to solve his problems himself (“let him grow up independent, but I have no time”). There is no emotional connection in such relationships.

Let us dwell in more detail on two particularly common types of education:

These styles may be both in the family (parent/child relationship) and the teacher in relation to the children of the group or class.

Authoritarian parenting style- a strategy of pedagogical influence based on the unconditional submission of the student to the authority of the teacher. Within the framework of this style, education itself is regarded as a purposeful process of personality formation; while the child performs object of this process, experiencing the impact subject education - parent or teacher.

Authoritarian style education is largely influenced by the style of leadership and subordination accepted in society. Authoritarian power, both in society as a whole and in any social group, contributes to the imposition of authoritarian relations in all spheres of public life. Thus, a person forced in his professional activity to unquestioningly obey his superiors, strives to instill a similar type of subordination in the sphere of family relations. Thus, in particular, he compensates for dissatisfaction with his own dependent position in the official hierarchy and strives to act as an unconditional authority in the sphere accessible to him - in family relationships in raising children. A significant role in this is played by the stereotypes of upbringing learned from childhood, which were demonstrated to a person by his own parents.

Opponents of the authoritarian style point out that it leads to the formation of a passive personal position in the student, conformism, and thoughtless dependence on imposed authority. These arguments are largely correct. A child, taught only to obey from an early age, loses his creativity and tends to avoid making responsible decisions; he lacks initiative and independence. At the same time, a hidden, unconscious thirst for power is formed. Having acquired a fairly high status in adulthood, such a person seems to take revenge on others for the humiliation he suffered in childhood, resorting in turn to harsh methods of managing his subordinates and raising his own children.

Currently, teachers and parents are increasingly abandoning this method of education, but in the 60-90s of the last century it was the main method of education used in educational institutions and, often, in families.

In contrast to the authoritarian, he puts forward democratic parenting style. Within the framework of this approach, the child is no longer considered as an object of influence, but as an equal subject of mutually directed dialogue. Obviously, this particular style is the ideal of education. However, exclusive adherence to it also poses serious problems.

At the earliest stages of its development, a helpless child simply does not have the potential to participate in equal interactions. Education at this stage can be considered nothing more than the influence of an elder on a child. But as development progresses, the process gradually takes on a mutually directed form, initially sharply asymmetrical. A person becomes an equal participant in interaction only upon reaching maturity. The task of the elders is to feel the pace of this progressive process and not make useless attempts to slow it down or speed it up.

Thus, in the early stages of a child’s development, some elements of authoritarianism in his upbringing are useful and necessary. In some cases, you should not have a discussion about the appropriateness of some action, but clearly demand its implementation. The child learns to regulate his behavior gradually; At first, the regulatory function belongs to the adult. If there is no external regulation, the child’s behavior continues to remain spontaneous, impulsive, and irresponsible for a long time. As the child grows up, he gains the ability to accept external, social norms, requirements and restrictions as his own life guidelines. This is facilitated by healthy relationships in the family, which, losing elements of authoritarianism, become more and more democratic.

So, elements of an authoritarian parenting style can play a positive role at a certain stage of a child’s development. But if family relationships are constantly built on authoritarian principles, this leads to distortions in personality development. Equally, the opposite extreme can give rise to promiscuity and personal immaturity.

Good afternoon, dear readers!

The topic of raising a child remains one of the most pressing. Are we treating our kids right? What kind of people will they grow up to be? This largely depends on how the parents behave. Let's consider the main parenting styles in the family and their influence on the formation of the child's personality.

Research shows that the behavior of the parents determines how the baby will feel during adult life. School performance, social activity, and even subsequent sex life are determined not only by genes and environment, but also by parenting style.

A favorable psychological climate is considered to be an environment in which all family members treat each other with respect and honor their obligations. Children in such a family respect their elders, and the elders are always ready to protect the younger ones.

In a prosperous family, all issues are resolved at the common table together. All members have sufficient self-esteem, each can develop their abilities without compromising others.

But we are not always able to achieve such a microclimate in the family. Parents also have their own fears, prejudices, and aspirations that prevent them from establishing normal relationships with their children. As a result, we get a kind of mixed type of education, where different styles intersect.

Dominance style

A family with an authoritarian upbringing regime pays more attention to traditions, demands obedience, but takes little into account the opinions of children. Parents' words are not discussed: mom and dad are always right. The child’s initiative is not encouraged, but the house is dominated by prohibitions, constant control, and physical punishment for misconduct is not uncommon.

What do these styles of raising preschoolers lead to? As a result of the dominance of dad and mom, teenagers grow up either lethargic, infantile and lack of initiative, or cruel, rebellious, but easily succumb to the influence of stronger and more self-confident comrades.

Boys in such families grow up with low self-esteem. They are not balanced, the only thing holding them back is the control of their parents. When control disappears in adulthood, such a child's behavior can turn against society.

There is an opinion that people in Hitler's Germany in that era were brought up in families in the spirit of authoritarianism, so they took unquestioning submission for granted.

Liberal

This style is also called laissez-faire. In such a family, warmth and a friendly atmosphere reign, but discipline clearly suffers. The wishes of the child are put at the forefront, the opinions of the parents are taken into account last.

Liberal style allows kids to reveal their Creative skills. Dad and mom take care of the child and can make him happy.

However, the trouble is that liberal-minded adults do not feel responsible for the kids and their future, so they obediently fulfill their requests and desires.

Since there is no discipline in the family, children are left to their own devices, and they get the false idea that they can control adults. When teenagers become adults, they try to manipulate other people in the same way, although they have little success.

It is this pedagogical method that produces unhappy children. They grow up depressed, weak-willed, among such teenagers there are most cases of violence, alcohol and drug abuse.

Lack of discipline prevents you from establishing control over yourself in the future at work and in the social sphere. The guys have difficulty controlling their desires and do not have far-reaching goals. They do poorly at school because their parents are not interested in their education and do not participate in discussions.

Authoritative

This style can also be called democratic, or aimed at cooperation. It is characterized by care and friendly attention in the family, emotional support and love from adults. But, despite this, parents are consistent in their demands and encourage initiative, responsibility, and determination in their children.

To explain to children some rules that must be followed, adults use reasonable arguments and evidence. They do not impose their own will; children can make their own decisions and have a choice.

As a result, both parties benefit. Parents set realistic expectations for their children, encourage academic success, are involved in the activities of their children, but at the same time, children do not show aggressiveness, have high self-esteem, and get used to achieving goals themselves.

Perhaps this is one of the most best styles education. Children raised in such families are conscious citizens, creative people, striving for their goals.

Chaotic

Abnormal parenting styles in the family are not consistent in the demands of adults. The child is not presented with specific requirements; there are disagreements between relatives about how to behave with the baby.

Since the opinions and emotional state of adults are constantly changing, kids lose their sense of stability. Mom and Dad either scold “whatever the world is worth” or show touching affection. As a result, the child grows up anxious, pays little attention to the demands of adults, and has poor social adaptation.

Overprotection

All previous styles of raising teenagers and children still give, at least sometimes a little, but still independence to the little ones. The caring style completely “ties” the adult to the child. As a rule, anxious mothers suffer from this “sin”. They constantly think that something bad will happen to their baby, so they try to protect him from all the negative aspects of life.

But, in essence, they are trying to live instead of the child, doing everything for him and depriving him of independence. How will this baby grow up? There can be two scenarios: passive, selfish or aggressive, trying to escape from parental care.

But the worst thing is the transmission of anxiety to offspring. Children begin to feel dependent and become infantile.

Determining the parenting style of a particular family is very difficult. Most often, there are several methods of pedagogical “work” of adults, so the result is a mixture of methods. And it’s even more difficult to analyze your situation from the outside. What if you are that “Hitler” in a skirt or a smug liberal?

The best thing is an outside perspective. If your baby goes to kindergarten or school, ask educators and teachers how he behaves and how he treats others. If he tries to become a tyrant himself, it means you behave the same way at home.

If he doesn’t listen and allows caustic statements about elders, then it’s time to end liberalism. Or does his desk neighbor help him tie a bow on his hat? Then it’s time to teach him independence and reduce overprotection.

A child’s social behavior is an indicator of the parent’s parenting style. As if in a mirror, we recognize ourselves in our children.

See you soon, friends!

Classification of families.

There are many various options composition or structure, family:
- a “nuclear family” consists of a husband, wife and their children;
- “completed family” - a union increased in composition: a married couple and their children, plus parents of other generations, for example grandparents, uncles, aunts, all living together or in close proximity to each other and making up the family structure;
- a “mixed family” is a “reconstructed” family formed as a result of the marriage of divorced people. A blended family includes stepparents and stepchildren, as children from a previous marriage are merged into the new family unit;
- a “single parent family” is a household run by one parent (mother or father) due to divorce, leaving or death of a spouse, or because the marriage was never concluded (Levi D., 1993). A.I. Antonov and V.M. Medkov are distinguished by their composition:
- nuclear families, which are currently the most common and consist of parents and their children, that is, two generations. In a nuclear family there are no more than three nuclear positions (father-husband, mother-wife, son-brother or daughter-sister);
- extended families are a family uniting two or more nuclear families with a common household and consisting of three or more generations - grandparents, parents and children (grandchildren).
The authors point out that when it is necessary to emphasize the presence in a nuclear family based on a polygamous marriage, two or more wives-mothers (polygyny), or husbands-fathers (polyandry), then they speak of a composite, or complex nuclear family.
In second families (based on a second, not first marriage), together with the spouses there may be children from this marriage and the children of one of the spouses brought by him to the new family A.E. Lichko (Lichko A.E., 1979) developed the following classification of families:
1. Structural composition:
- full family (there is a mother and father);
- single-parent family (there is only a mother or father);
- distorted or deformed family (having a stepfather instead of a father or a stepmother instead of a mother).
2. Functional features:
- harmonious family;
- disharmonious family.
There are various classifications of types of distribution of roles in the family. So, according to I.V. Grebennikov, there are three types of distribution of family roles:
- centralistic (or authoritarian, with shades of patriarchy), when the head is one of the spouses, often the wife, who has supreme power in resolving major issues family life;
- autonomous - husband and wife distribute roles and do not interfere in the sphere of influence of the other;
- democratic - family management rests on the shoulders of both spouses approximately equally.
Types of family structures according to the criterion of power (Antonov A.I., Medkov V.M., 1996) are divided into:
- patriarchal families, where the head of the family state is the father,
- matriarchal, where the mother has the highest authority and influence, and
- egalitarian families in which there are no clearly defined family heads and where the situational distribution of power between father and mother prevails.

In psychology, it is customary to distinguish 6 main types of family parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, democratic, chaotic, alienated and overprotective. Each of these styles has its own characteristics and has a different impact on the psyche and personal development of the child.

Authoritarian style of family education. With an authoritarian parenting style, parents suppress the child’s initiative, strictly guide and control his actions and actions. When raising children, they use physical punishment for the slightest offenses, coercion, shouting, prohibitions. Children are deprived of parental love, affection, care, and sympathy. Such parents only care that the child grows up obedient and efficient. But children grow up either insecure, timid, neurotic, unable to stand up for themselves, or, conversely, aggressive, authoritarian, and conflict-ridden. Such children have difficulty adapting to society and the surrounding world. Parents strictly monitor the implementation homework by younger schoolchildren, even to the point of standing next to them and putting pressure on the child in an attempt to get him to act independently. For the purpose of self-defense, children use a variety of tricks, such as crying, to show their helplessness. As a result of such measures, children lose the desire to learn, they have difficulty concentrating during teacher explanations or when preparing lessons.

With their parents, such children may seem calm and dutiful, but as soon as the threat of punishment disappears, the child’s behavior becomes uncontrollable.

Liberal - permissive style of family education (hypocustody). With a liberal-permissive style, communication with a child is based on the principle of permissiveness and low discipline. To assert himself, the child uses whims, demands “Give me!”, “Me!”, “I want!”, and is demonstratively offended. The child does not understand the words “Must!”, “Impossible”, and does not follow the instructions and demands of adults. Parents with a liberal-permissive style of communication with a child are characterized by an inability or unwillingness to lead and guide the child.

Liberal parents are caring, attentive, and have close relationships with their children. They give the child the opportunity to express himself, show his abilities, discover his creativity and individuality. Parents sincerely believe that in this way they will teach them to distinguish between what is right” and “wrong”. Liberal parents find it difficult to set the boundaries of the permitted, acceptable behavior of their children. They often encourage their child’s overly relaxed and inappropriate behavior.

Overprotective style of family education. With an overprotective parenting style, parents deprive the child of independence in the physical, mental, and also social development. They are constantly next to him, solve his problems for him, live in his place. They overly care and patronize him, fearing and worrying about his health. Even when the child becomes an adult, parents continue to take excessive care of him, constantly worrying about him, about his health and well-being. Overprotection suppresses the initiative, will and freedom of the child, his energy and cognitive activity, deprives him of independence, fosters obedience, lack of will, and helplessness. With an overprotective parenting style, parents unconsciously inhibit the development of various skills and abilities in the child, the development of perseverance in achieving goals, and hard work.

Alienated style of family education. With an alienated style of family upbringing, relationships imply a deep indifference of parents to the child’s personality. Parents “don’t notice” the child and are not interested in his development and spiritual inner world. By actively avoiding communication with him, they keep him at a distance from themselves. Children are left to their own devices. An alienated parenting style is observed more often in dysfunctional families where one or both parents abuse alcohol or drugs.

Chaotic style of family education. Some psychologists identify a chaotic style of family education, characterized by the absence of a single consistent approach to raising a child: there are no specific, definite, clear requirements for the child. A chaotic style arises due to disagreements between parents in the choice of means and methods of education. Conflicts in the family are becoming more frequent, parents constantly sort things out among themselves and often in the presence of the child, which leads to neurotic reactions in the child. Unpredictable actions and reactions of parents deprive the child of a sense of stability, provoke increased uncertainty, impulsiveness, anxiety, aggressiveness, and uncontrollability , social maladjustment.

Democratic style of family education. With a democratic style of education, parents encourage any initiative of the child, independence, help him, take into account his needs and requirements. They express their love and goodwill to the child, and play with him on topics that interest him. Parents allow children to take part in discussions of family problems and take their opinions into account when making decisions. And also, in turn, they require meaningful behavior from children, show firmness and consistency in maintaining discipline. The child is in active position, which gives him the experience of self-government and increases confidence in himself and his abilities. Children in such families listen to the advice of their parents, know the word “should”, know how to discipline themselves and build relationships with classmates. Also, the democratic style of education is characterized by the presence of mutual understanding between parents and children, the manifestation of warm feelings between them, frequent communication and moderate discipline. Parents are attentive to their child, emotionally support him, and create an atmosphere of love and care in the family. Parents encourage children's independence and personal responsibility in an age-appropriate manner. Parents set rules and standards, boundaries of acceptable behavior and require their child to comply with them. Mutual understanding between parents and children is achieved through persuasion, discussion, compromise, and arguments. Parents always listen to their child and give the child the opportunity to take responsibility for their actions and actions.