You accidentally witnessed your child masturbating. You are in complete disarray, is it possible that your baby will grow into a sexual maniac or a pervert?

Your first natural impulse to scold and punish, so that this never happens again!But are your conclusions and methods of influence correct?

Don't panic! Let's figure it out.

What is baby masturbation?

Children's masturbation is when a child caresses himself (engages in masturbation), this is a fairly common phenomenon, of course, undesirable, but there is nothing particularly tragic or shameful in him. And there is no need to punish for this.

It has nothing to do with adult masturbation (post-puberty). In fact, manipulating the genitals in a child is no different from scratching a sore. After all, the mechanism of sexual satisfaction in children has not yet been formed, and the “discharge” typical for adults never occurs.

The overwhelming majority of children (almost all boys, and the overwhelming majority of girls). Initially, it is associated with the emergence of interest in one's own body, an absolutely normal stage in development. And the genital area is very rich in nerve endings and, touching it, the child experiences new sensations.

The child may find other erogenous zones in himself besides the genitals and begin to stimulate them. This can be sucking a thumb (more often a thumb) or any other object, scratching the heels, stroking the back, again, prolonged sitting on the toilet (potty). But this does not cause a panic reaction in others, although the nature of these phenomena is absolutely the same as with irritation of the genitals.

At what age is masturbation observed in a child?

Masturbation can be observed in a child already at the age of 4-6 months, when the child suddenly tenses, turns red, and then goes limp and falls asleep. As a rule, parents in these cases immediately think about the appearance of seizures in the child. Many people note that their children sit on the toilet for a long time (and those younger - on the potty), surrounded by toys or picture books.

Why ask? Constipation? Yes, it is constipation and requires some tension in the pelvic floor muscles. And this tension is transmitted to the genitals - pleasant sensations arise that the child wants to repeat again and again. This is fixed in the brain, in the subcortical structures of the brain, and the child is looking for ways to create pleasant sensations in himself again and again.

Is child masturbation a problem?

By itself, touching any areas of your body is not at all a manifestation of some kind of disease. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

The problem lies in the reaction of adults to this event, as a rule, it is a strong fear, which is always and very quickly transmitted to the child. He begins to think that he is doing something disgusting and disgusting, and if parents or grandparents, or educators complete the cycle of wrong actions and scold, then the child begins to feel like a very, very bad boy (or girl).

This fear, this low self-esteem can become the root cause of big problems: from the loss of trust in relationships with adults to gross violations in the subsequent sexual life, the perception of it as something unworthy, disgusting.

Of course, the inadequate reaction of adults to child masturbation is directly related to the level of development of society, its tolerance for various human manifestations.

At the everyday level, child masturbation is seen as something vicious, and meanwhile, almost everyone is engaged in child masturbation, and sexual disorders (too early sexual development, pathological sexual desire, early, so-called "school" pregnancies and abortions) still suffer from limited part of the population.

Very often a person is repulsed by precisely what is suppressed and unfulfilled in him.

Another important detail: the idea that the touch of a child on his genitals will certainly cause him arousal is not at all a rule. On the contrary, the child can comfort himself in this way. Many children fall asleep more easily after masturbation.

How to properly respond to child masturbation?

The best thing you can do is not react in any way. If the child is doing this in public, he should not be scolded and called names, he should be distracted (but not by a slap on the head), because this can cause a negative reaction among others. Perhaps you will be reassured by the fact that modern children's doctors for the most part do not consider children's masturbation to be a manifestation of ill health.

Moreover, they even see their positive aspects in this. Indeed, in itself, a rush of blood to the genitals caused by masturbation is the prevention of genitourinary infections, which are not uncommon at an early age.

When do you need to worry?

When a child develops behavioral disorders, frequent crying, dissatisfaction with everything and everyone. He begins to sleep poorly, wakes up at night, he has various obsessive movements. It is in these cases that the movements associated with masturbation are on a par with other obsessive movements. Then he can start masturbating in public.

As a rule, parents in most cases live in happy ignorance and do not even suspect that their child is engaged in masturbation, if only because he does it alone, when no one is at home, or when everyone is already asleep. A normal child, with normal socialization at heart, realizes that masturbation should not be advertised.

If he begins to do this anywhere, regardless of the fact whether there are people around or not, then he is not able to control his desires and movements.

In this case, stubborn masturbation can be a manifestation of nervousness, since, although it is pathological, it is still a way of relieving nervous tension, preventing the appearance of neurotic disorders.

What are the reasons for child masturbation?

1. Characterological features of the child, namely, an active, often indomitable temperament and the corresponding increased need to release the accumulated mental stress.

All other things being equal, masturbation is more often manifested in girls who prefer to communicate with boys, and in boys with pronounced boyish traits.

2. Improper upbringing (excessive severity, restriction of activity, numerous prohibitions and frequent physical punishment), in which the child feels unnecessary, unloved, lonely. It bothers him and torments him so much that he tries to distract himself to compensate for his loneliness.

If a child at this moment accidentally discovers that masturbation drowns out his anxiety, makes life more pleasant, then he will deliberately engage in it.

3. Problems of emotional contact with parents, which grow with a lack of affection, parental warmth, early departure of the mother to work, transfer of the child to relatives and nannies.

Such children are not honest with their parents. Hiding many of their feelings and experiences, they often live in their imaginary world, closed from others, in which they compensate for the lack of love and warmth from adults. Masturbation becomes a kind of "compensation" for them.

Incidentally, child masturbation is very common in child homes. Abandoned children, deprived of affection, literally from the cradle begin to caress themselves.

4. If the child found out that the family was expecting a child of the opposite sex. He is a boy, and dad needs a girl ... The feelings and suffering of a child can also find their way out through masturbation.

5. Force-feeding. When parents are at war with the baby, they push in, forcing everything to eat. It most often occurs in children with neuropathy, who are underweight and have insufficient digestive juices.

If a child normally enjoys food and its taste, then with force-feeding, especially children with neuropathy, this does not happen. Moreover, the very process of eating is accompanied by negative emotions, and the food seems not only tasteless, but also unpleasant, causing nausea and vomiting.

As a result, one of the sensitive areas of the body is turned off from the normal development of the sense of the body. And since the mucous membrane of the lips and mouth is reflexively connected with the genital area, the "silence" of one reflex zone makes the other "speak" ahead of time, in this case the genital.

Her prematurely increased excitability creates tension, which is temporarily eliminated through masturbation. The kid begins to touch his genitals. If you continue to force-feed your baby, it continues to discharge. The habit is fixed for a long time.

6. Lack of hygiene, excessively tight clothing, itching in the genital area with diathesis, worms, diaper rash leads to the appearance of specific sensations and the desire to cause them.

7. Psychological infection, when adults are in the same bed with a child, caress the child excessively and kiss on the lips, swing on the leg or follow hygienic measures too carefully (washing away in girls) - all this can lead to the premature appearance of specific genital sensations and their desire reproduce.

8. Very often we lose sight of such an obvious circumstance: a child is the product of two parents, and not one of them, no matter how different these people may be. Therefore, children love both parents and react extremely painfully to any conflicts between them.

It is ruthless, even, moreover, criminal to make them allies or prosecutors in family troubles, and even wars. Children are very dependent on the authority of their parents, and such "games" are unlikely to make them your supporter, and they will definitely cause an inferiority complex.

In addition, children tend to exacerbate their own problems in the hope that parents, in the face of child misfortune, will forget their feuds and, finally, make peace with each other.

Stubborn masturbation may well be a means of pressure on parents. The situation in the family is normalized, and the child himself can give up the ugly habit.

9. Physical punishment (spanking, spanking) promotes the flow of blood to the genital area, involuntarily sexually arousing the child.

10. Imitation of elders - if a child has seen a movie, accidentally saw parents or older children with increased sexual interest.

11. The clinical prerequisite for masturbation is an increased level of excitability, mostly as a manifestation of neuropathy against the background of minimal cerebral dysfunction (which may occur due to the pathology of pregnancy, less often childbirth).

Another manifestation of this condition is sleep disorder: difficulty falling asleep, restless, superficial, intermittent sleep. A long stay in bed without sleep provokes the manifestation of masturbation, as there is anxiety and a desire to eliminate it.

How to prevent child masturbation?

Remember, masturbation is a way to release nervous tension. If your child has it, look for sources of tension. Do not overdo it on masturbation.

Your threats to the baby are worse than the masturbation itself. It is they, not masturbation, who are capable of crippling the child's future. What happened seems to have several reasons. Your child will undoubtedly lack parental attention and warmth.

Bodily contact with the child is essential. Children who are fondled by their parents grow up much calmer, more balanced, and benevolent.

Give children more affection! This can be done without any pretense: a child walks past you on some business of his own - pat him on the head, kiss him just like that, you don't need a reason for this!

Putting to bed, sit next to him, tell something, again stroking the child. A caressing child will later become a loving and tender parent.

It is very important to understand that children want to be loved only for what they are. Believe me, a child who receives the love and affection of his parents “for himself,” and not for a good deed, will be more attentive to his parents, their problems, concerns, needs.

And the last thing. Introduce walks in the fresh air into the rule, even small walks before bedtime often have a magical effect: after all, you can talk to an always busy mom or dad and get tired so that sleep will come by itself. Water treatments have a beneficial effect, increasing the sense of the body. Enroll the child in the sports section, play more outdoor games with him.

After listening to these simple recommendations, you will most likely forget about this bad habit. But if, in spite of everything, attempts at masturbation still take place, you should contact a gynecologist or urologist (depending on the sex of the child) in order to exclude an inflammatory process in the genitourinary sphere, which can cause itching in the perineum.

Then a visit to a neurologist is advisable, and only then to a psychologist and, especially, to a psychotherapist.

What if the child is masturbating?

- Find the cause and try to eliminate it.
- Don't force-feed your baby.
- Dress your baby in loose clothing and underwear.
- Make sure the child falls asleep immediately. If necessary, give sedative decoctions and potions (after consulting a neurologist).
- Increase the child's physical activity: sports sections, walks in the fresh air.
- More often hug, caress, kiss the child. Pay more attention to him.

Pathological habits in children

The most common pathological habits in preschool children are habits such assucking objects, thumb sucking, nail biting, masturbation (masturbation). Less common in preschoolers is painful urgepull out or pluck hair (trichotillomania) and rhythmichead shakingand torso (yakation). The basis of pathological habits is the fixation of certain actions. In order to help children get rid of pathological habits, parents and educators need, first of all, to understand the nature of these habits.

It is known that pathological habits reduce negative emotional experiences in the child (dissatisfaction, conflicting feelings towards people close to the child) and help relieve emotional stress. The feeling of pleasure that the child experiences and the increased attention of the surrounding adults to these actions of the child also helps fixing pathological habits.

It must be remembered thatwhen pathological habits are suppressed, the child's feeling of inner tension increases. Moreover, having suppressed one habit in a preschool child, we immediately get another in return. A particular difficulty lies in the fact that in most cases, preschoolers do not have a desire to overcome pathological habits, moreover, there is often active resistance to adults' attempts to eliminate actions that are habitual and pleasant for the child (the child only understands pathological habits as negative by the end of preschool age) ... Along with common features, pathological habitual actions have peculiarities inherent in each of them, and therefore, ways of overcoming.

Masturbation in a small child. What to do?

Your baby is growing up, and then one day you notice that your son or daughter is touching his genitals. What is it? Natural childish curiosity or pathological habit - masturbation (masturbation)?

Usually between the ages of 2-3 to 5-6 years, children begin to have an interest in learning about the differences between the female and male body. They look at naked children and adults with interest, but the sensations of their own bodies are no less interesting for them. Children often play with the genitals, touch them, pull at them, scratch them ... The interest here is purely cognitive! But, if the sensations that the child experiences at the same time become for him the dominant source of positive emotions, then he begins to resort to stimulation of the genitals constantly, as a result, masturbation arises.

At 2-3 years old, the baby still does not understand what masturbation is, does not know that touching himself and others in some places is considered indecent, so at this age it is too early to talk about masturbation (masturbation). Masturbation is a way of self-gratification, when a child brings himself to emotional release (before bedtime, hiding in a secluded place) and does it regularly, then you can talkabout a pathological habit... In an open, noticeable form for adults, this habit occurs in 5% of boys and 3% of girls of preschool age (according to A.I. Zakharov).

If a child is easily distracted from looking and feeling his body parts, openly asks questions (for example, about the structure of the body, about the difference between a man and a woman, between a girl and a woman), his behavior is not disturbed, normal sleep, then this is a natural step in development psyche, knowledge of the surrounding world and oneself. The surge of such interest occurs at the age of 3 to 6 years, and then dies down until adolescence. In this situation, it is enough for parents to behave tactfully, not to be ashamed of their natural curiosity, to answer children's questions.

Prerequisites for the emergence of masturbation

Physiological.

An active, indomitable temperament (choleric) and, as a result, an increased need to release mental stress.

If a girl does not like to play with dolls, she prefers to be friends with boys; if the boy has pronounced boyish traits.

Psychological.

Improper upbringing, when the child feels unnecessary, unloved, lonely: excessive severity, restriction of activity, a large number of prohibitions, physical punishment (especially slaps on the bottom, whipping with a belt). It bothers him and torments him so much that he tries to distract himself to compensate for his loneliness. If a child at this moment accidentally discovers that masturbation drowns out his anxiety, makes life more pleasant, then he will deliberately engage in it.

Problems of emotional contact with parents: lack of affection, attention, positive emotions, early separation from the mother (when the child is sent to a nursery early, the mother goes to work and delegates the care of the baby to another adult).Sensitive to separation from mother. The child, in protest, closes in on himself and looks for a way to discharge. Such children hide their feelings, emotions, experiences, often live in their own, invented world.

The second child appears in the family, and the older one feels unnecessary, unloved.

Force-feeding also contributes to masturbation. When parents are at war with the baby, they push in, forcing everything to eat. It only causes aversion to food. And if the child does not feel pleasure from eating, then other sensitive areas of the body are turned on. The area of \u200b\u200bthe mucous membrane of the lips and mouth is associated with the genital area. If the first is "silent", then the second is excited. (according to A.I. Zakharov). The kid begins to touch the genitals. If you continue to force-feed your baby, it continues to discharge. The habit is fixed for a long time.

Psychological contamination - adults often take a child to their bed, caress too much, kiss on the lips, or observe hygiene too carefully (frequent washing, etc.). Imitation of elders - if a child saw in the movies, accidentally saw his parents, or older children with an increased sexual interest.

Clinical.

The manifestation of neuropathy - sleep disturbance, poor falling asleep - leads to an accumulation of anxiety, which is thus eliminated.

What else can provoke the emergence of masturbation?

The only child in the familyisolated from child society.

High emotionality of the child.

Increased excitability.

Physical punishment (spanking, spanking) promotes blood flow to the genital area, involuntarily arousing the child sexually.

Pregnancy pathologies, unwanted pregnancy.

When parents wanted a child of one sex, but “turned out” - another.

Excessive adherence to parents.

Father's impulsiveness, intemperance.

Mother's coldness.

Neglect or, conversely, too careful observance of hygiene standards;
Excessive wrapping, tight clothing.

Failure to comply with hygiene, excessively tight clothes, itching in the genital area with diathesis, worms, diaper rash leads to the appearance of specific sensations and the desire to cause them.

You suddenly found your child masturbating

First of all, if you suddenly find your child engaging in masturbation, do not faint or scream, stamp your feet.

Endurance and tact are required. If this is a small child, then try to calmly, without emotion, switch his attention to something else.

It is also necessary to behave calmly with a school-age child, talk about it when he is able to listen to you. But, in any case, do not scold the child and do not intimidate!

Calm him down, suggest that you want to help him, that you do not judge him, that this will not affect your love for him.

After the first shock has passed, a trusting relationship with the child has been established, try to understand why the child is masturbating?

rubdown.

How to avoid fixing masturbation?

And how can you help your child?

So, first of all, find out the cause of the habit.

Do not shame in any way, do not punish, do not scold. Do not overdo it on masturbation. Your threats to the baby are worse than masturbation. It is they, not masturbation, who are capable of crippling the child's future.

You don't even need to talk to your child about this topic,but radically change educational methods, relationship with the baby.

Give your child more freedom, the opportunity to act independently.

Praise often.

The family environment should be calm and friendly.

If the child wants to run, jump, do not hold him, but, on the contrary, provide physical activity (walks in the fresh air, sports or dance section).

Encourage the child to express feelings and emotions, if he does not know how to adequately respond to negative emotions - teach.

Communicate more often on neutral topics, avoiding lectures, lectures.

Treat prickly heat, diathesis, helminthic diseases in time; urological and gynecological diseases.

Clothes should be clean, loose, not chafing the body. Tight clothing can constantly press on the genitals or irritate them while moving. A child, feeling uncomfortable with such clothes, will constantly correct it, unfasten the zipper, and have to touch the genitals.

Do not frighten the kid with the terrible consequences of his “dirty” actions! This will lead to an inferiority complex, which in the future will result in problems with knowing your body, problems with sex in adulthood.

Do not humiliate the child with interrogations, examination, discussion of this topic in front of strangers.

As soon as you notice that the child is interested in sex differences, explain them to him. However, remember that at the age of 2.5 - 4 years, the child does not need details. Just tell him that girls and boys have different urinary organs so that he does not show increased interest in this topic in the future. If you do not explain this to him, he himself will start looking for answers to his questions (which he may not ask out loud). After all, there are numerous cases of children demonstrating their genitals in kindergartens (the toilet is common!).

It is best to teach the child to sleep on its side, placing both palms under the cheek. Some babies like to sleep on their stomachs. This is also a safe position in terms of possible masturbation. But if the child prefers to sleep on his back, then it is best to teach him to put his hands on top of the blanket, not explaining the true reason, but coming up with some plausible explanation.

If you are helping a preschool child to wash, then you should neither rub the genitals with a hard washcloth, nor gently touch or stroke them. Treat them like a normal part of the body, then the child will treat them as well.

Teach your child to play and have fun. In other words, it is important to teach your baby, so that even being alone, he could independently occupy himself with something interesting (besides masturbation).

Review your diet (less sweet, spicy, salty).

It is necessary to distract the child with a more enjoyable and interesting activity, expanding the range of interests and communication with peers. It is necessary to increase activity in movements, in ways of expressing feelings and include in the child's life recreational activities aimed at increasing the sense of the body: bathing, dousing,

Seek help from a neurologist.

Remember! Masturbation is a way to release nervous tension. If you cope with the stress, masturbation will "go away."

Love your child! Most often, masturbation affects children in orphanages, who are not needed by anyone, loved by no one, and have no opportunity for self-expression. Make a conclusion !!!

And if the problem persists ...?

If, nevertheless, the child does not stop masturbating before 8-10 years of age, be sure to consult a child psychiatrist or sex therapist. Often at this age, masturbation may be due to the influence of sexually anxious adults or adolescents with mental disabilities.

The need for masturbation may also be due to the child's increased hypersexuality or premature psychosexual development.

Many children are unable to cope with their hypersexuality on their own. And since the satisfaction of sexual attraction is pleasant to him, and dissatisfaction, on the contrary, causes mental discomfort and unpleasant sensations, then he seeks to please himself as best he can. At this age, the child is not able to realize the consequences of an early formed libido in the form of surrogate forms.

“Suffering” the child in such cases is absolutely useless.

You should know that the manifestations of premature psychosexual development can and should be treated. If this violation is not eliminated in time, then a stable stereotype of surrogate realization of sexual desire will form in the child.

In conclusion, note thatthat the more the desire of parents to remove, eliminate the external attribute of the problem- whether it be thumb sucking, objects, nail biting or masturbation (masturbation),the less chance of eliminating the cause of the habit... In the prevention of pathological habitsof great importance is the normalization of intrafamily relationships, a gentle and equal attitude towards the child, satisfaction of his need for emotional warmth and affection,systematic health-improving and physical education activities, the development of creativity.

Pathological habits must be treated with due care. Only then will the child's situation change in the desired direction.

List of references:

Alekseeva E.E. Pathological habits in children. // Bad habits. URL: http://adalin.mospsy.ru/l_03_00/l0301190.shtml.

E. Vinogradova “Bad habits. Little tips for parents. " M., St. Petersburg. 2006.

Sviridenko E. V. Children's masturbation: what is the reason and what to do? // Baby's health. URL: http://www.mama23.ru/articl/cat-10.html.

Shirokova G.A., Zhadko E.G. Childhood masturbation. // // Bad habits. URL: http://adalin.mospsy.ru/l_03_00/l0301190.shtml.

Health and hygiene issues are inextricably linked to bad habits in children. These examples include masturbation in children... Masturbation - artificial irritation of the genitals - is especially harmful because of the detrimental effect on the development of the child's body, on the state of his nervous system. Such children are usually pale, with blue circles under the eyes, sometimes with a slightly puffy face. The eyes lose their shine, the child hides them, there is no direct, open gaze. These children are lethargic, get tired quickly, are not interested in games, their peers, shun the collective, children's society. Prolonged masturbation leads to mental retardation, dullness of memory, a sharp decrease in abilities and poor academic performance in schoolchildren, and in advanced cases - to serious mental illness.

The reasons for child masturbation can be as follows:

1. Pinworms. Not everyone knows that worms, and especially some of their types, often cause bad habits in children. This applies to small pinworms. They live in the rectum and usually crawl out onto the skin of the perineum at night, causing unbearable itching. Insomnia appears, the child gets nervous, scratches the skin in this area. In girls, itching becomes even more common as pinworms crawl to the outer genital area.

Itching provoked scratching in the perineum and genitals leads to masturbation. That is why it is absolutely necessary for the preservation of health and in order to prevent the emergence of this bad habit to carefully treat helminthic diseases. In addition to the use of antihelminthic treatment, strict adherence to child hygiene is of great importance. Clean hands, neatly trimmed nails, changing panties daily, boiling them and stroking them with a hot iron, washing a child before changing panties are no less important than the treatment prescribed by a doctor.

2. Long-term loneliness of the childwhen he is left to himself and neglected. One example is illustrative: a child under 3 years old was left alone in the room where he was locked. Subsequently, when circumstances changed and the child was placed in better conditions, they noticed that he was hiding, seeking solitude. It turned out that the child masturbates. It takes a lot of patience and tact to deal with a bad habit.

3. Masturbation often occurs in childrendoomed to a long stay in bed (bed rest) with relatively good or just good general condition. This is especially true for children suffering from certain heart diseases, such as rheumatic heart disease, when they often keep the child in bed for a long time without sufficient reason, without even trying to occupy him with something. Some parents, unnecessarily pamper their children, keeping them in bed beyond measure, when it is not indicated by a doctor: after flu, tonsillitis, runny nose.

However, you should also not go to the other extreme and not put your child to bed when it is necessary in the interests of his health. While the child is in bed, observe him as carefully as we used to do in relation to children on the street, in the park, in public places.

Tips for parents: what to do, how to deal with child masturbation, treatment

1. To prevent the appearance child masturbation, monitor compliance with the correct regimen in general, and especially the sleep regimen - carry out a strictly established and always at the same time, going to bed.
2. Before going to bed, allow children only calm games and walks in the fresh air; noisy games and conversations, prolonged reading, spectacles, including television, are inadmissible.
3. Have dinner two hours before bedtime, without spicy foods, strong tea, strong coffee.
4. Empty the bladder before going to bed.
5. Sleep on a hard bed in a well-ventilated room.
6. Sew a long nightgown.
7. When falling asleep, keep your baby's hands on top of the blanket or under the head.
8. Make sure that in the morning the child does not lie in bed for a long time, but, waking up, quickly gets up. Always wake him up at the same time.
9. After getting up, morning exercises (even for little ones), then water procedures (wiping or dousing). Cold water procedures, like all hardening activities, play a huge role in the prevention and treatment of child masturbation.
10. For children with masturbation, take off daytime naps by going for a walk in the air. Walking and playing in the air is useful for all children, especially those suffering from masturbation. Take them out for walks in any weather.
11. If the parents of a child suffering from masturbation teach him to daily physical exercises, outdoor games, and older children - to sports, then in this way you can successfully overcome this habit. A healthy, cheerful, hardened child will not engage in masturbation.
12. A very important link in prevention and treatment of child masturbation- labor. Teach your child to help around the house, achieve purposeful, well-organized, always carried out at the same time on the preparation of homework. Keep such a child constantly occupied, give him various tasks (draw, cut, mold something, and so on).
13. Watch your speech, exercise restraint in conversations, do not say in the presence of the child what he is not supposed to know.
14. Be delicate, tactful and modest in your intimate relationships so that the child does not witness what he should not observe and what, being incomprehensible, can leave a traumatic mark on his child's psyche.
15. Fighting masturbation, do not humiliate baby, do not shout at him or punish him.
16. Do not sew special clothes for children attending kindergarten (for example, special knotted pants, etc.). Such constant evidence of his vice leads to humiliating conversations, ridicule, which will further alienate the child from his peers. But the society of children, the team, joint games and activities that are useful to captivate such a child is one of the means of his treatment.

Based on the materials of the magazine "Family and School", 1962

It is probably difficult to find a mother who would say that her child, willingly or unwillingly, did not engage in masturbation. Most likely, someone might not have noticed. But it is unrealistic not to pay attention to certain body movements accompanied by children. So my mother saw it, but did not attach any importance. Or maybe she was ashamed to take the child to a specialist. Or she didn't want to touch the topic at all, they say, it will outgrow, it will pass by itself ...

Is such an oversight of the parent dangerous? They will now begin to calm us down from everywhere. Like, no, it's not dangerous, it's a natural process. And in general, it often happens with young children, because the phenomenon is widespread and harmless. And what about the doctors? Don't panic ...

But, have mercy, now, in childhood, this is the case, and with the correct behavior of the parents, you can get rid of the misfortune. Although with our employment this is in doubt. Well, what about adolescence and adulthood? A harmful pathology, which we call a habit, will develop into a neurosis and radically change a person. She spoils his life, negatively affects the psyche and physiology.

What to do if you notice that your the child is doing masturbation? What are reasons for the development of masturbation in children? Is it possible to somehow stop this process?

About masturbation in children

Yes, before you start talking about the reasons for the development of masturbation in children, etc., you need to know what kind of animal it is.

In short, we are talking about artificial stimulation of the genitals for pleasure.

At what age do children start to masturbate

It's terrible, but, as practice shows, children's masturbation has no age. Some attentive mothers paid attention to the fact that their babies began to engage in it in the first year of life, almost from three to four months ...

What does child masturbation look like?

The classic manifestations of child masturbation are enough. And one of them, as we have already noted, is artificial irritation of the genitals. But, in order to find out if your child suffers from this scourge, you need to watch him. Here are signs that may indicate that a child is masturbating:

1. the baby regularly rubs leg on leg, crossing them and throwing one on top of the other, blushing and groaning at the same time;
2. can sway with concentration with a detached gaze, while actively and for a long time rub against the surface;
3. a child a little older, knowing his body, can regularly touch his penis with his hands;
4. babies caress their whole body and kiss their mother, touching their genitals at these moments.

The reasons for the appearance of masturbation in children

There are many of them, and each attentive mother will add to the list of typical (physiological, psychological and spiritual) reasons. But let's focus on the key ones.

1. Curiosity... Yes, children get to know themselves. And this is natural when they touch everything that comes to their hand, but this interest should not become a habit.
2. Violation of hygiene... Yes, the child can act in different ways in response to the persistent itching in the genitals.
3. The child wants to go to the toilet... This includes constipation and urinary retention. As a result, the tension caused by the rush of blood to the genitals passes into the genitals, and the children begin to look for a way to discharge.
4. Allergy... She, too, can make the child want to shove her hands back into her panties.
5. Swaddling too tight or underwear.
6. Bad potty training experience... The child was punished when he endured and wrote.
7. Obsessive-compulsive neurosis... It can be caused by the divorce of the parents, a long separation from the mother, and similar moments associated with experiences.
8. Imitation... Having seen how adults are engaged in masturbation, children capable of imitation can try out of interest and then show it constantly to their organs.
9. Lack of parental attention... As a rule, we are talking about large and conflict families. Children, feeling a lack of love for them, feeling unnecessary, drown out their grievances, constantly keeping their hands in their panties.
10. Cruel punishment... Especially if children are punished regularly and for a long time, they defend themselves with masturbation games, thus relieving nervous tension. Children in such moments can involuntarily become sexually aroused.
11. Force-feeding... Are you surprised? Meanwhile, forcing the child to eat when he does not want to, you involuntarily activate the genital zones, which are associated with the mucous membrane of the lips and mouth.
12. and the non-church life of parents... No comment…

Your reaction to manifestations of child masturbation

They say that children are not a diagnosis. Perhaps at a certain age, yes. But, if you notice that the child regularly experiences certain sensations with some stimulation, take action. This is how parents should act in such moments.

• Do not panic, reacting violently to what you see, draw the child's attention to the problem or beat him. After all, children are pure and innocent. Therefore, the main thing here is tact and restraint, which will help to switch their attention to something else and talk to them later. And in general, excessive attention to the situation will have the opposite effect.
• Do not intimidate if you find your son or daughter at work - he is already ashamed, and in general, threats are worse than masturbation itself. Naturally, do not try to beat and punish. On the contrary, you need to reassure, reassure that you still love.
• Do not focus the child's attention on what happened, divert the conversation aside (it is useless now), negating the growing interest in the habit of keeping your hands in your pants - a lot depends on your reaction.
• Answer his questions, even the most ridiculous, in your opinion.
• Having told a child who is able to understand this how harmful this habit is, clarify how abominable this sin is before the Lord and that it must be confessed and bear the fruits of repentance.

Having understood the situation, do not let it take its course - it will not dissolve by itself. Yes, the best way to go through this period of physiological masturbation without problems is your love and attention, as well as a plan of action.

What to do

So, you understand that your child is in trouble. What to do? Much depends on age. After all, some recommendations will be given to a baby who is from three months to three years old, others - to a boy or girl who is already 6-7 years old and beyond. Schematically, your actions may look something like this.

• First of all, understand the reasons -. And, as we know, there are a lot of them, and in each case - different advice. In short, you just need to carefully read the chapter above about the reasons for the development of masturbation in children.
• Second, immediately exclude the causes of genital stimulation associated with diseases and age as well. For example, pay more attention, show your love, not punish harshly, monitor your health and natural dispensations, buy comfortable underwear, prevent your child from seeing intimate scenes, sleeping or falling asleep for a long time, etc.
• Explain to your child in plain language that what he is doing is ugly and harmful. Older children can be told about the physiological processes that cause itching (for example, the release of smegma (lubrication).
• Try, showing affection to the child, not to cross the boundaries - so that he does not get excited.
• Find ways to encourage your child to switch their activity on a good track. This can be sports activities or in hobby groups, outdoor games, communication with peers, conversation on interesting topics, joint trips to the theater, etc.
• If these measures did not help, and the child continues his studies, it is necessary to take him to a polyclinic - the pediatrician will give a referral to the necessary specialist (this can be a psychologist, a neurologist, a specialized doctor, etc.).
• It is important to organize the church life for the child so that, as he grows older, he can confess and bear the fruits of repentance.

So, the main thing in this problem is our, parental, shortcomings. And if we cope with them in time, our children will grow up without bad habits and will take place in this life.

Probably thumb sucking and nail biting are nothing before another pathological habit that may lie in wait for you and your baby. This morning he asked to go to your bed, and very tenderly, trustingly, pressing his whole body, he began to hug and kiss. It was so pleasant and good for you that you did not want to attach any importance to it. But in the afternoon ... you realized that you made the mistake of catching him accidentally playing ... playing with the genitals. Moreover, the kid not only was not scared, but very sincerely asked you who he really is, in fact ... he is a boy or a girl, although he knows perfectly well who he is.

You were so shocked and overwhelmed that you could not answer him. How do you assess this? What is it? Game, fun, ridicule or elementary promiscuity? You missed something in the baby. How to get out of this situation? Take and punish, so much so that he remembers forever, or calmly explain correctly ... But how to explain correctly here, when he is a crumb, barely three years. Three years ... but I thought of this ... And you, unable to bear it, shouted, even remembering how in the morning he tenderly caressed with you in bed ...

You were discharged, but you made a gross pedagogical mistake in relation to him, convincing him that he was playing so on purpose, and that he was a very bad child.

No, not bad. At three years old, your baby is simply not yet ripe to engage in masturbation. He unconsciously, playing, irritates the genitals. He does not know that there is any kind of sexual satisfaction. He is driven only by curiosity and curiosity. Before a year, he began the path of a researcher, examining all parts of the body, and still studies them all. But if earlier he simply fixed that this is a pen, and this is a leg, now he wants to compare them with parts of the body of other people. And in his three years, he does not understand that there are “forbidden” places on the body that cannot be explored. And if we also remind him of this, then his curiosity increases, and he tries to figure out why this organ is more “forbidden” than others, involuntarily focusing his attention on it, which can become a pathological habit.

In addition, from the age of three, a child often experiences a romantic feeling of love for his parents, and sometimes a feeling that somewhat resembles a sexual desire. But this is not a perversion, it is the norm, one of the many steps in the development of a healthy child. Moreover, physical attraction to relatives is a common occurrence and does not conceal any oversight, because it is so pleasant to caress a loved one. The kid does everything without second thoughts. He is pure and considers everything to be pure around him. But our sex education, or rather its complete absence, is capable of generating excessive bias out of this purity and transforming the natural into the unlawful, thereby generating interest. When you can't, you want to try. And the kids are trying ...

But if by the age of three the child still does not understand what he did wrong, then at the age of six he is already ashamed and sincerely wishes to wean himself from the bad habit. Therefore, when suddenly you suddenly find a baby playing with genitals, you should not faint. Exposure is needed. Calmly, without emotions, but strictly explain to the kid that this is ugly and cannot be done that way, that he is already big and must play other games. And if your child is healthy, then this disapproval is quite enough for him to switch his interest to please you.

So, at the age of three, the baby still does not understand what masturbation is, and because of this he cannot engage in it. But very often, without realizing it, we ourselves generate the prerequisites for masturbation in him in the future. And the main one of these prerequisites is again wrong upbringing, when the child feels that he is not needed and, moreover, is not loved. And it torments him so much that he tries to distract himself and looks for a way to distract himself, as compensation for everything. And if at this time he accidentally suddenly discovers that masturbation drowns out anxiety and makes his life more pleasant, the child will be engaged in it already consciously, in order to evoke more positive emotions and forget his adversities against the background of them.

When the baby does not feel affection and warmth and is sensitive to separation to vulnerability, and the mother does everything to be separated from him, and even formalizes the baby not just in a kindergarten, but in a round-the-clock group, he withdraws in protest and looks for a way to discharge himself. He seeks ... and finds.

Only children are especially vulnerable and sensitive. They have no brothers and sisters with whom to communicate. And they have to depend on the mood of their parents. And the mood is different. Quite often - not quite good, but this is - a ricochet at the child. When your child has an active temperament, he immediately looks for a new outlet for himself. In general, as a rule, discharge through masturbation is more characteristic of active children, the "hooters" simply suck their fingers.

Another reason for masturbation is when a baby suffers after learning that a child of the opposite sex was expected at home. He is a boy, and dad needs a girl ...

And even your force-feeding is the reason for this pathological habit, especially when the parents are at war with the baby, and push and pour into him what is needed and not needed, only causing aversion to food. Remember, when the child does not experience the pleasure of food, then one of the most sensitive areas of the body turns off. And this zone - the mucous membrane of the lips and mouth - even reflexively, but connected with another sensitive zone - the genital. And if the area of \u200b\u200bthe mouth is "silent", then the area of \u200b\u200bthe genitals is excited, and this worries the baby. He begins to touch the genitals and feels how the excitement is removed. You continue to force-feed the baby, it continues to discharge. The habit is fixed for a long time.

Itching in the genital area is possible when the baby has exudative diathesis, diaper rash, worms, when you wrap him up too much and put tight clothes on him.

The child's genitals can be irritated when hygiene requirements are not followed or when you teach him too carefully to observe them, which leads to the appearance of specific sensations and the desire to cause them.

And even physical punishment (spanking and spanking) promotes blood flow to the baby's genital area, involuntarily sexually arousing. Excessively sweet and very rich meat food with a small amount of water drunk, causing itching in the genital area, often also causes masturbation.

Quite often, young children "imitate" older children with increased sexual interest. Such cases of "imitation" from time to time "infect" entire children's groups.

Whatever the reason, however, masturbation is a way to release nervous tension. And if suddenly your child has it, look for where the sources of tension are. Don't overdo it on masturbation. This is not something out of the ordinary, breaking the life of a baby. Therefore, do not intimidate him. Your threats are often worse than masturbation. It is they, and not the pathological habit itself, that can cripple the child's future.

How parents should behave with a child engaged in masturbation:

• Find the cause and eliminate it.
• Do not subject to interrogations and examinations.
• Do not shame, especially in front of strangers.
• Do not in any way scold or intimidate.
• Try to give your child maximum attention.
• Adjust its power supply.
• Allow to wear loose clothing.
• In the daily routine, focus on water procedures, walks in the fresh air.
• Create an opportunity to communicate with peers.
• Love and understand!