You suspected a husband in treason. They tried to find out the truth in different ways. And everything confirmed. So what to do? How to be now? On how best to behave, having learned about the treason of her husband, the psychologist Galina Artemieva talks.

Remember the song: "She took a decisive jacket-writer, seem to have enough forces, I said:" Total good "..."

First: Do not rush to decisively remove the jacket. Cut and think. Well, let's think together. It was found that you lived with a traitor. But you lived! Even for quite a long time. And nothing! Well, they still have cool down. Repeat, repeat about yourself: "Yes, he changed! Yes, he changed!" Well, let's repeat once a hundred times until it becomes funny. (Be sure to become, but not so soon!)

Second: Let's find yourself that nothing has happened yet yet. Everybody is alive? Lives! Even healthy! There is where to live, there is something to eat. Already good. Well - flew into your life a foreign pain. So now? Shoot Let's learn to keep a blow! Ranch this readiness in a handful and throw it on the garbage. And all! Forgot. And do not dare to stick in your poor head word from the found letter of my husband addressed to the other: "I love you, you are my only one, my wife is my cross (think only, yes? Well, reptile!), She poisoned my life, only with you I'm happy..."

There are some afflicting truths that are simply obliged to learn the involuntary (or potential) participants in the love triangle (good, if not a polygon). They need to know no worse traffic rules for the sake of preserving mental and physical health, ability to work and respect.

1. Your idea of \u200b\u200bthe husband is not at all husband himself.
2. If you have taken a husband as a constant part of the home interior, know: it is quite possible, there are places where he gladly plays other roles, and at home searched after stormy love games, perceiving you as necessary in his farm.
3. Leaving marriedYou do not acquire a husband in life use.
4. The life of every person, including your legal spouse, belongs primarily to him. Everyone has the right to make an error. And to awareness of this error too. It depends on you what exactly will be considered your husband - a marriage relationship with you or a love intrigue on the side.
5. If you find that the husband changes you, try primarily to preserve prudence. Determine for yourself honest and straight what you want in the current situation. Possible options are usually as follows:
   • i want to break the relationship immediately and part forever, forgetting him like a terrible dream;
   • i want to be together, everyone forgiveness and that everything was as before;
   • i do not want to part and I can not, but I dream to take revenge on him for the caused pain;
   • stay with him from the principle that the mistress does not come out by the winner;
   • i need to reconsider the past, to understand what my own misconceptions were, and not to give yourself to destroy themselves.

There is no right option, there is an option that is most acceptable to you. Choose. But with a clear head, according to the goal, to which you strive. To not regret it.

Just take into account the law of life: nothing destroys us as a thirst for revenge, so options c) and d) can be dangerous for your physical and spiritual well-being. Revenge is to blame (if they are to blame), believe me, without your participation. Because evil will return to his creators. But not when you crave it, but a lot later. You need to relax, thinking about yourself and our own, only your tasks and solutions.

1. Keep dignity. Having learned about treason, in no case are not attempting to communicate with the mistress, to expose it, collecting her facts everywhere. Be higher. Let the price of incredible domestic effort. Not for the sake of her husband or opinions about you outsiders. For yourself. To then respect yourself for the strength of the Spirit and the hardness of nature.
2. If you considered it possible to stay in marriage with an unfaithful husband, forgive him completely and irrevocably. Do not constantly hang, do not recycle, do not remind about the past, do not yazvit. Otherwise, you will force your husband very and very regret that he still remained.

We must be able to show nobility. This is a feat. But if you consciously decide to save the family, work for the benefit of its recovery. (Restore, note, is always harder than destroying.)

1. Do not attempt to find my husband immediate replacement, pay him to the same coin. Any of us can find a random partner if necessary. Only he will not be a consolation. If we were pushed into a dirty puddle, you need to get out of it soon, wash away from dirt and forget. But to enter into random ties is equivalent to the fact that you are from one dirt, where you are not in your own will, you will jump into another dirt, assuring that you take me, thereby first a puddle.
2. Focus on your health. Women deeply survived the pain of treason, often sick precisely with female diseases - so the body responds to humiliation and insult. You are obliged to stand yourself, stay healthy and attractive. Attach every effort to be in humans, distract from gloomy thoughts.
3. Whatever you decide: to be together or parting, try to stay friends. This is the most fruitful, wise and loyal direction of thoughts and actions. Let even at first his friendship with a traitor cannot be imagined.

Husbands should be understood:

1. Nature women are completely different than you. For them, physical proximity means much more than gymnastic exercises with subsequent relaxation. In most cases, spiritual strings are involved. Fuck the vibrations of these strings in case of finding your unclean behavior.
2. If you tell a woman "I love you" to just feel the full emotional return on her side, you play a dishonest game, because for her these words are equivalent to the offer forever tie your destinies.
3. Whatever you have been covered with achievements on a sexy front, do not lose your heads. If you are mainly satisfied with your marriage, it is worth considering the feelings of my wife, if it detects. You risk losing a faithful and reliable companion.
4. Adventures on the side quite often end all the same wedding bonds. And the full disappointment in the fervor, forced to destroy true relationship with the real (so, it happens, and some men say) to his wife.
5. Do not give a mistress in your family house, there are things that can not be done under any kind. This is one of them. If a naive question occurs in a childish question: why, it is possible to answer it is quite childish: it will be worse. The mistress will come into rage at the sight of the wife of his wife, soams such hatred that it is imperative one way or another materializes in the form of a series of failures and troubles, which will begin to pour on the head of all members of the Family Union.
6. Do not dedicate your mistress in the family affairs, in the problems of children and the like. Caution: You give her the most valuable - the information that she can take advantage of the evil who you love, and it is not. The secret is always obvious - this is an immutable law. At least - do not help it.
7. You are deeply mistaken if you think that, heading the novel on the side, finally found a faithful soul, who knows your original passion for freedom, adventure, extreme. You would be very surprised if you heard the sincere conversations of our winsted and reckless mistress with girlfriends. Believe me, the battle's strategy and tactics would be struck for possession of you as a legitimate spouse, which are produced by a cup of coffee in a trendy restaurant. You understand: We, women, the bill of time goes for seconds. We are not elementary to afford to spray "just so." And those who allow the use of themselves as a gross loss, remain complete bankruptcies in personal life, without a husband, children and all that we are supposed. So understand: for you fight! You are a pawn, not the king!
8. Sorry for this very intimate point of our program. But if you have come out on the field of sexual playing, use, please protecting the tool from infection. Whatever credible seemed to you your new chosen, in life it happens anything. There are often tragic cases when HIV-infected is deliberately infecting those who trustfully comes with them into sexual contact, it is not protected by anything. HIV-infected, it happens, are in a special mental state, considering that life unfairly cost them - and decide to take revenge on others for their own suffering.
9. Do not tell your mistress about the lack of behavior, misunderstanding and vicious inclinations of your wife. You want to pour out the soul. You are looking for sympathy. You crave to love you, such an sufferer. You, without noticing, getting carried away, thickening paints very much. You, of course, will love, will regret. But remember: Loving you a woman may not withstand overwhelming her hatred for your obichpilka (i.e., the wife from which you do not intend to part). And then the thunder gets! Wife will get the most clear business. But you will not bypass the chain of very unpleasant episodes.
10. Life is a system process. As part of the system, we influence each other. The relationship of people form the chains of feedback. Sooner or later, a person on himself is experiencing the results of what he did with others. So try not to play in order not to hit yourself at the most inopportune moment.

Discussion

At 8mart 2018. I also learned about the treason of my husband. I found myself about 12 years younger. For me it was a blow. It turned out to be changed to me for a very long time, as I managed to learn more than 5 years. In marriage, we are 33 years old. It took more than a year, and I still can not forget all this, calm down. Vera not, all the time it seems that he continues to relationships. There was no painting on his side, first the blocked that there was nothing with her, just some conversations on the phone, then when I found out that she had him for a long time, he just said if you could, sorry. Now movies where there is treason, I can not watch. Walking with the grandson on the shore of the river, there are constantly coming two cars (he and she), obviously lovers, I'm in everything in everything (he is older, she is young). And where? - then a deceived wife. What's happening?! Why do husbands change? What do they miss? My husband ask, what is wrong? Answer, everything is so. Then why?

I had suspicions that the husband changes, like many women, the sixth sense. I learned the truth, although not all. He traveled to "bad girls" for oral. How can this be forgiven? - It was the first question. I know that it was not enough for me, but herself will force him what he wants - I can not. I want to leave (and these thoughts were very long ago, I didn't want 2 children to be taught without a father), but now it's just necessary. We used to be often quarrels for various reasons, and now I see no reason to tolerate. The problem is only that I want to leave now, and from work will not let go (I am a teacher, now there is meaning). I do not know what to do. I will not endure these 4 months, I can not pretend. And if I express everything, I can't get it time with him. I do not know what to do...

Hello, the other day did not sleep at night, here there is no sleep and that's it. He began to cheat himself, and if he had another and added "no, he would not change me, he loves me very much, it's just a cheating." She climbed into his phone while he slept calmly around. He opened the first correspondence with some kind of woman. A quick look at the content .. The result, treason on the face. There were intimate pictures and talk about what they slept. On the clock 5 in the morning. Related from the bed to the sofa, cried. From the correspondence I learned a little, everything did not read everything. It was very painful. He get up in 7. rearranged the alarm clock for the near future, as if it was time to get up. The alarm clock rang, and on the clock is not the time, it can not understand what is happening. I try to curb emotions and say: "Tell me". He does not understand. "Talk everything. Who is * name *! ". He: "What are you? What is at all? You are inventing ourselves everything. " I repeat everything. Admitted. He said at the moment he was hard, stress, quarrels are small and gave slack. For more than 2 months I hid it. She does not know about me. Screw through the tears to it until 7 m in the morning. He said very much and does not want to lose. At the very tears wrapped around. I always thought that I would not forgive betray, but I myself love him and gave him a chance with the conditions, crossing myself and his pride. Gone to work. From hysterical and night without sleep I cut me on the bed. Woke up at lunch, porridge in the head, immediately into tears. Could not believe it just refused. I wrote that I was blocked everywhere and deleted. All day nothing climbed into the mouth, drank only water. So that somehow distractedly removed in the whole apartment and prepared dinner. He came. I can not look at him, barely held away tears. Someone went a little bit and gone lying on the bed. Thanked for dinner and seeing my condition, Loe near and acquired. I started crying. He repent, asked for forgiveness and said how he loves me, that he had no excuse and he could not look like me hurt. Murmed. She said that I need time to digest all this. The next day, I asked questions about it when everyone was climbing. On the phone changed the password. I have forgiven and try to let go of the situation, but there is no trust and what I do not know. And suddenly pies again, I doubt the words. It seems to have come correctly, but it is insanely difficult to forget it and take ...

All I learned that my husband changed me. I didn't remove it on the video, then I deleted it, but in the secret folder it remained and I saw it! We are 10 years old! How to continue to live. I want to divorce, but the children are small and if I leave him, then financially I do not stretch the children. I can not even get a job. He says what is talking. What was the first time. He says that it dissipates and regrets, but behaves as if there was no reason. How can I live on? I want to die, only children stop.

Good article, but where to take the strength to behave correctly when you know about the treason of my husband. Much depends on the behavior of her husband.

Lord, as I understand you. At the 8th Mart of this year, he learned about the treason of my husband Viktor, was in such a shock. At first, I thought that it was just an intrigue, he did not confess, everything denied, then I find out her (Lena) phone, I ask her how far my relationship went, answer her, ask her husband. Again disassembly with him, he can again fight that he had nothing with her except for conversations. Then I find out that she has he had long since he began to learn about 6 months, then about 3 years, then about 5 years old, the last thing she has more than 6 years old. This year we had 33 years of our marriage, I believed him endless, children are already adults, there are grandchildren, everyone who knows us, considered us the perfect pair. I still can not calm down, forgive him that I will never forgive. Respect for children He lost. Which he was missing?! I ask him, you were not ashamed every day I look into the eyes all these years? His answer struck me that he did not consider this relationship seriously, he was not ashamed. With whom I lived all these years, as I could believe this man. He is not going to leave, I arrange it, says that everything ended with her, he loves me, only the relationship never to return. To share with him a htched property and go away, but why should I pick up half of our children from our children, because the same Lena will picker him and repeat it, she is younger than 12 years old, he is 59 years old. This is my story.

I learned about treason after 18 years of marriage. For 18 years, at first killed in a drunken state, when they swear, but then, over time, after tickling the characters and the salt, which "ate" together, I was sure I would not betray me!
Outcome. For three months I can not come to myself. They betrayed, yes, herself with whom, the former drug addict who is not working anywhere, steals, sleeps with everything in a row and at the Blad Hut with an alcohol break suits Orgies. It sorry for him it became pretty, for 10 years I was younger. While I left for a business trip, he went to her drink and dragged into our apartment, on our bed, in his hands carried. When I arrived, everything was fine, slept, everything was fine in sex, like missed)))
I learned. And that's it. I'm overlapped, I can't live with a traitor, my legs wiped out about me, I was compared with an asocial personality, I just shocked. In our apartment, everything broke, the bed broke, things all broke, slept with his "friend", except for pain I do not feel anything, I look at him and hate. I know that you need a reboot, but the button does not work. I can sleep with him on the inertia, but it is no longer !!! Stranger. My confidence is that it is with him that I will meet the old age that it is with him that we will be with our grandchildren, what will be "fighting" with him again with him, everything died, or rather dies in the torment so far.
In my case, it's not a sexy betrayal, but the human knocked me out of the gauge.
I can not live with a traitor and you need to put up with it, to come to accept the fact that it is impossible to believe anyone. Just live on and not be sure of anything. How long will I come to my senses, time will tell, the cross is set, under the 40s I start with a clean sheet in the burntable book of my life.

Hello, give me advice. Recently learned that her husband had a different woman, and more and more pregnant. My questions about suspicion that he has another, he answered with refusal. For a direct thing about what I know did not speak. How to start a conversation? What to say to understand for yourself whether to save seven or not.

hello. Advise the way out of the situation when the husband does not want to divert and leave a three-year relationship with his mistress unable. I offer a fictitious marriage to preserve the sake of children. It hurts me and it is incomprehensible to its aggressive denial, recognition, humiliation of me, leaving, parishes ... It feels like enchanted behaving. 18 years old are married, but I didn't know it ... if he had real love, I want to let him go to him, but everyone says to me that he was kept))) and if they were kept, can you be disappeared)))? I tormented him, but he is me ... what to do?

Please tell me as far as I recently learned that my husband changed me according to him, this means nothing means he did it 5 times just how to do in this situation

Yes, he changed! And so 100 times, well, not ridiculous? At least a million times repeated.
Now I want to write and discharge, and not laugh.
I feverily looking for reasons why, what is wrong in me?
And the mistress must immediately drive the broom, and not to suck.
The punishment must be inevitably. And further according to the plan, let him ask for forgiveness, recognizes the mistake, or takes time and forever.
And your right - you can live on together, or not, in variations.

After our comments, you can safely defend your thesis!
The very first error-psychologist does not even approximately know that he feels a deceived spouse.
I agree that the first thing is necessary to go away from sin.
I almost strangled my night, flew in the morning.
The only one could have kept to not think.
And when I started thinking, hello, schizophrenia!
The only thing that could explain how could a man who loves change, then
that at that moment he worked not head, but "head".
The mistress disappeared from the horizon as soon as I realized that she would not live.
Even the place of residence changed.
I asked for forgiveness, Fronta. Bilah strongly.
There is no trust anymore, and all related consequences are not going anywhere.
I do not believe it will just be better hiding.
The question of philosophical and live together and believe that it will not happen to you,
- Together and know what changes
- go, but know that it can always happen, and be alert

A good article seems to me how to save the family.
I can't forgive betray, I'm trying, I'm trying and in no way, I will forget and again I start to ask my husband why he did it who she was and he says "offended I was and the fifth" and it is not remembering something, and how like her Ball although I myself told me at first one story, then another, so every time, says that I was afraid to lose me because it loves and we are both needed. It is still regretting what happened and that he will be unpleasant to the end of his life. I woke up dressed near some, after a youth bar and touched in horror. Is it possible? I do not believe! It goes from time to time to the bars to drink and everything as he says, there is beautifully poured and cold beer it is pleasant to 281272. Why? What for? Horrible pain and non-viositary, realizing that the husband betrayed you with whom you sleep in one bed for more than 10 years. Hunting to quit for betrayal well, and children, the children are not happening here and I understand that I have no life for children, and they need a dad whatever he is, and I will not be easier because I love and family for me most importantly in life 😊😊

Decided to stay with her husband after his betrayal? To restore the relationship, you need to forgive your spouse. It is very difficult to do it, but you can. Take advantage of the practical advice of the psychologist who will find in today's article. You will be able to accept a betrayal, to forget about him, let go of the situation, start to trust her husband, stop it to jealous and restore relations.

Take the betrayal of your beloved under the power of not every woman. Step-by-step guide will help relive the difficult situation:

1. Realize the fact of treason. Most women cannot believe in what happened, the psyche denies treason. A woman believes that with her could not do a bad thing. The first step to recovery is to accept marital infidelity.
2. Understand that you may be wrong. Now you know that your man is far from being perfect. Realizing that everyone can be stupid, become more tolerant for someone else's actions.
3. Do not compare yourself with a competitor. Women are characteristic of critical evaluate themselves. Competing with a rival, you plow your self-esteem. Do not look for meetings with your mistress, it is a stranger in your family, and so you can bring myself to psychosis.
4. Keep dignity. Himself, persuading her husband stay in the family, you will seem weak and miserable. Loss of pride will not help keep marriage.

Life after betrayal becomes completely different, and to restore it and establish relations in the family, my wife needs to be sweat along with the spouse.

What to do to forgive betray

The best advice will let go of a man from the family. If you see that he stays in the family and understands what stumbled, it is important to pass the stage of forgiveness correctly.

Forgive her husband and forget about everything 3 steps leading to healthy relationships will help:

1. Getting rid of a sense of one's own guilt. It is necessary to understand that the husband destroyed confidence. Stop rolling yourself for what happened. Both spouses are guilty, you can not get the entire burden of responsibility per one.
2. Analysis of relations with spouse. The wall of silence will not help relive the difficult stage. Communication has a healing property. If you share your experiences and try to find out the causes of the act of your loved one, overcome one more step towards recovering marriage. To talk frankly, avoid reproaches, accusations, high tones. Imagine that you are on a session at a psychologist and share the most frank.
3. Creating strong Uz.. Concentrate at the positive moments of married life. Remember pleasant family events, arrange romantic dinners to make a note of the positive marriage. Over time, treason will come true and positive emotions will come, the relationship is normalized.

Remember that you will not immediately believe my husband and love it. Specific dates are individual. In practice, to create a healthy climate in the family leaves more than a year. It is important to gain patience and the goal will be achieved.

We advise you to read free book Alexey Chernozem "What to do with men's treason." You will know why men change and go to mistresses, how to react to betrayal to preserve relationships and prevent repetition in the future, as well as all this.

The book is free. To download, press this link, leave your e-mail and a letter will come to the mail with reference to the PDF file.

How to save family and establish relationships

Even if the betrayal was deeply injured his wife, do not ask for an apology. The husband can bring them, but will do it insincere due to aggressive pressure and evil manifestations. It is mistaken to assume that the more the spouse brings apologies, the faster the relationships will be applied.

Stop constantly reminding the happening, "cut" it. Do not mention the lady with which the husband has changed. Recalling the opponent, he will think more often about her.

Another common mistake of women is to lie, pretend to have forgiven a loved one, although it's not deep in the soul. You should not announce that you "let him go sins" if you feel that you are offended. Do not force the events, you will feel when you really forgive my spouse. If they are in accordance with, thinking that the family relationship will be quickly quickly, then all efforts will disappear.

Detach your appearance, take care of an interesting hobby. Switching to your development, you automatically eliminate your husband from indifferent pressure. New hobbies will raise self-esteem and change your image in your husband's eyes. Seeing you a new one, he will have an interest.

Are there any more doubt? Here you will find everything "for" and "against", hear the opinion of psychologists.

If hikes left continue, this article is written ,. You will learn how to do so that he stops changing who is not looking for an intima on the side. We also prepared several obtasses from the mistress.

Here we discussed. We have compiled a detailed plan, prepared a list of what cannot be done.

Want to ? Read here, whether it is worth doing to what consequences should be prepared, how to do it.

To avoid Aduilter in the future, find out. Here you will find a list of useful films on the topic, male opinion, the causes of infidelity.

How to learn to trust my husband again

To once again learn to trust a man, he must make considerable efforts. For starters, think that most of all causes doubts in the behavior of her husband, for example, you start nervous when he is delayed at work, it is uncommittently leaving for the city or hides the incoming SMS, leaving the room. Perhaps he loves unbelievable how a business trip was held.

Having determined the source of distrust, offer a frank conversation to your beloved. Ask him from time to call you under the pretext, which is worried.

Calmfully give a spouse that makes you feel uncomfortable. Perhaps he will pay attention to his habits, will try more and more accurately explain his actions and employment. Then you stop nervous and gradually begin to trust my husband more.

When suspicions dispel, healing will come. This will be restored confidence.

How to stop jealous of the spouse to others

Creating a strong marriage requires the efforts of both sides. While the husband will try to become honest, you need to stop being distrust. Do not consider the norm to regularly check your husband's mobile phone, mail on the computer, pockets. Each person has the right to personal space. Think, it would be nice to you if your mail and calls were constantly tracked? Having poured into the personal saccy of her husband, you push it to distance and secrecy. Remind yourself that if he stayed with you, there are no reasons to jealous.

See the release of the transmission "Everything will be good." The series is devoted to the treason of her husband, how to forgive her and return harmony into relations:

Complete with treason, re-start trusting her husband, save the family and live with a traitor - it is really very difficult. But much worse do not take anything, and then rolling myself.

It is believed that only a man is inherent in polygamy. But the social skins conducted by US scientists refute this stereotype. The participants were asked a spicy question: "Do you agree to break the loyalty to your regular partner, if he does not know about it or not?" The results surprised even experienced researchers. 82% of representatives of the strong half of humanity predictably gave an affirmative answer. The ladies difference differed slightly. 78% would agree to Adumerter, using the ignition of the spouse. Unfortunately, the infidelity is so common that the majority takes an intrigue on the side as the norm and does not regret the deed.

All people are inherent to fantasize erotic themes. They do not always go into reality, because a person is able to consciously control their own behavior, despite the "congenital instincts", which the scandinally famous Sigmund Freud spoke about. Modern science confirms the opinion of the psychologist about the importance of libido (sexual entry) for each of us.

Do I need to forgive her husband's treason? The response of the psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky is that it is impossible to give a universal recipe. Some do not consider the contacts of the spouse on the side of the tragedy, others cannot forgive treason. Also different interpretation of the adulter. Many imply under the concept "betrayal" sexual contacts out of marriage. In fact, the essence of the concealment of this fact. This is a hoax, typical phrases like "I shore your feelings, because I hid." For such a wording hid a true hypocrisy. Relationships in which a similar scenario has been implemented, damaged initially, only for a veil of love, idealization of one you did not notice this.

Why is it so hurt?

Is it possible to forgive her husband's treason? Each person decides for himself what to consider admissible in the marital life, but what is not. Sometimes the one who forgave treason makes a decision under the influence of his own fear of losing a partner or unhealthy neurotic love, readiness to endure, silence, hide true emotions. This indicates the weakness of the character of a person.

According to Mikhail Labkovsky, most of these people experienced a similar feeling earlier. Parents betrayed them, giving rise to their education in another city, leaving for earnings, without taking from kindergarten. The child is accustomed to the insults and transfers these feelings in adulthood. As I leave, if a common house, a loan, little children, I do not want to share the property, got used to such a non-clear, exhausted, wipe. Typical psychology of the victim. A vicious circle of suffering in which a person will imperts herself.

Is it worth taking it back to the family to solve only you. Cases when a woman forgave her husband to betray, the couple revised relationships and everything was still set up a lot. But before, it should be necessary to discuss the rules of the cohabitation that are arranged by both, to find out the reasons for infidelity, work on their elimination by common efforts.

Sanding stones with married infernity

Polina Gaverdovskaya psychologist advises to try to understand what forced a person to do this. Especially if the husband does not recognize his own guilt and does not regret what happened. Imagine what bad family life should be so that a person betrayed close and not repent? It costs to revise your relationship, analyze, look for problem places that you may not have noticed for everyday bustle and monotony of life.

If the husband asks for forgiveness for treason, the decision to take exactly you.

You can listen to the recommendations of the best friend, advice of experienced colleagues, but do not try to shift responsibility for them for your own life. To the question worth whether the husband's betrayal forum should be formed, the forum of devotees will not give an accurate answer, because each situation is individual, needs a special approach. Contact your psychologist for help to understand yourself, analyze the hidden subtext of family problems, our own weaknesses. After all, as Maverdovskaya Polina reminds, the cause of suffering is hidden in ourselves. Sometimes jealousy, panic fear of loss of beloved - the projection of vicious experience, manifestation of internal uncertainty.

It is especially important that the spouses forgave past resentment, misunderstandings, moving on together or separately if the pair has common children. Family crises are particularly hardly transferred to the younger family members by virtue of immaturity, lack of life experience and attachment to both parents. It is impossible to turn children's love in the weapon, the method of manipulation.

Only a close person who did not meet our expectations could cause pain, which did not keep loyal, succumbed to temptation. But why place such hope for her husband and is not an attempt to convey some of the responsibility for your own life?

How to forgive the wrong husband?

For common living questions "To forgive her husband's threshing or better to go? How to get rid of a sense of humiliation, resentment? " Mikhail Labkovsky is replied evasively. After a thorough revision of the conditions of the family hostel, the construction of an updated family relationship is quite acceptable. General recommendations are limited to the Council to work with a good psychologist and increase self-esteem. Confident women do not cling to a man, they are not much a fear of loneliness. When familiarizing it is immediately clear: the adulter of her partner will be regarded as a manifestation of unworthiness. She will come out of relationships without delay, doubt, pity. Accordingly, if a man appreciates relationships, he will not experience fate on the side.

No one has indulgence on lifelong loyalty, but self-respecting people live fully, count on open, honest family relationships. Aduiltrates in such pairs are rare, and partitions are almost painless.

To leave the state of depression, which can be compared with the state of a person who has undergone severe illness, you need gradually. First, analyze your feelings, the true causes of mental pain. It is better to make a small break in the relationship, to move away to the safe distance. Important solutions must be taken with a "cold" head.

When you feel ready for a serious conversation - agree on a meeting with your spouse at neutral territory, for example, in a cafe. Avoid accusations, emotional attacks, elevated tones. Forget about pity for yourself. Find out the causes of the act, the vision of the situation by the man. The conversation should be frank, calm. Take a general solution.

Instead of pre-school

Love - it means to listen to another person, to adapt, make a compromise, try to understand thoughts, feelings, needs, learn interests. Try to make life your beloved more pleasant. Over time, the idyll of mutual understanding can be destroyed under the influence of the ordinaryness, the lack of diversity, conflicts, misunderstandings. Permanent work on relationships, trust and attention to the partner, creating the opportunity to openly discuss with the second half exciting questions - the best prevention of the adulter and the basis of a happy family union.

Situations in family life are different, and positive, and negative. Some women offend on their men because of the trifles, and some easily forgive male "blunders". Another thing is if the question arose how to forgive betray to her husband. Here you have to take the will in the fist and do not make mistakes of most women. Take advantage of the advice of experienced psychologists in this difficult situation.

How to forgive betray her husband and live on

Naturally, the abundance will remain in the soul. It will only cure time, but you can make this process faster. For example, contact a family psychologist. About how to forgive her husband, they tell their clients, almost every day. After all, in the first place, this problem lives inside.

The husband was corrected, he was not going anywhere with you. Now it is also worth a decisive step and forget to betray her husband. Just take and forget. Experienced psychologists will prompt you what to do and how to live.

To pretend, as if nothing happened, I could not every one of you. But believe me, when you punish your husband, you need to splash out your wrath on my spouse, and you need to make my husband himself vinyl herself.

After you start recovering yourself if you still love him, and he crawls in front of you and asks forgiveness, forgive him. It can be stupid in this life, including you. For the sake of the family, women are ready for everything. After all, your children are not needed to someone else's man. Who, if not her husband, will also indulge and love them. In the family it is worth forgive.

If your heart is breaking away from pain and you do not know how to forgive treason to her husband, try to spend you calmly talk and discuss everything to the slightest details. Do not interrupt it while it will explain. After all, it may be, the husband will tell you what you did not suspect and solve only two.

But even despite this, you should not show that you feel guilty and ready to forgive him. Keep neutrality. To continue the entire conversation, ask yourself one of the only question: "What can I do to save the family?"

How to live after treason

The question is how to forgive the treason of her husband, of course, complicated. To forgive your husband, a goal of left will be far from every, but the wise woman will be able to overcome everything, for the sake of family preservation. Here the main thing is that the husband understands you and changed the situation with you.

Many women, some time after the treason of her husband, argue that after she forgive him, a new round of relations appeared in the family, which became even stronger.

The next step for you will be remembered only positive moments. It is worth reminding more often, for which you fell in love with each other, how many pleasant moments were and how much you have already moved the problems.

Remember your holidays and the birth of children, wedding and fun birthdays. In a word, so that after your stories, you have a smile and nostalgia on your face.

Do not blame each other and do not spirate the guilt. It will only aggravate your and so difficult state. If you finally decided to forgive betrayal to your husband, then try not to remind this case at all.

Your husband is also an adult and understands what he did disappointly to you. And if you do, like a wise wife and you will talk day after day, what is your wonderful one, he will understand that he recently almost lost his native person. And believe me, it will not change anymore.

It is worth noting that a woman who has suffered from treason, even after reconciliation, constantly expresses his suspicion, towards her husband. Here, be careful, because unnecessary vigilance will only destroy everything that you have managed to come after reconciliation.

It is certainly clear that it is clear that to return her husband to the family, it does not mean everything at all, but it is worth helping yourself in your hands and do not remind about it, under any circumstances.

Another problem with which women face after the treason of her husband are facing, it's sex. Of course, it is unpleasant to make love if you know exactly what your husband caressed another woman. You think about how to forgive my husband to gradually, but her husband is also not sweet.

No matter how cool, and all family life is being built on the sex and respect for each other. Therefore, it should not be closed in yourself or vice versa, to prove the husband that you are better than his mistress in sex. You are definitely better, since the husband is with you, and not with her. And all the insults will certainly cure time.

How to go through treason husband and forgive him

Usually, when they talk about her husband's betrayal, it's about treason, therefore, when this question is set, they actually think about how to learn to live after his betrayal.

Alas, but not a single woman, as far as strong and unbreakable, would neither seemed to be those bonds that bind her with his spouse from treason. And the reaction from every woman on treason to betrayal: someone manage to quickly become the mistress of the situation and forgive the deed of a husband, someone does not find the strength for forgiveness and completely breaks all ties with the once beloved person, and there is someone at all Does not pay any attention to it.

In any case, such an act of a husband testifies to. What your relationship is in a serious crisis and you need something to urgently undertake if you want to save them. Well - or diverge.

First decide for yourself, or whether you need to forgive him at all. After all, if your husband is an incorrigible womanizer, goodbye, do not forgive, everything will repeat again and again.

But if this is not your case and you really want to forgive, as relationships with this person have a certain value for you, then you will have to try.

If you learned about the treason of her husband, and he himself did everything in order to hide this fact, it only says that you are very expensive and he does not want to lose you. Think about it. Perhaps it will help you to forgive it. After all, each person has mistakes in life.

You can forgive betrayal husband and then when you see sincere repentance in my eyes, he tries in every way to deserve forgiveness and tries to establish former relations with you.

It is possible that in order to cool down a little and think about everything that happened to you will want to live separately for a while. Do not be afraid of this step, he will help you calm down, and your husband will be useful to be a little alone.

Talk about what happened. Yes, this conversation will not be out of the lungs. But you need both both, first of all, you yourself. You can express everything that you have accumulated on your soul, and the offense expressed will not sit in your heart as a cancer tumor, and the husband will try to give some explanations to his act.

The biggest mistake of many women who are resolved for the forgiveness of betrayal of her husband, these are constant reminders of him, with each even the small quarrel. Thus, they constantly remind themselves about it and can not forget, and the husband lives with a constant sense of guilt.

Only a few husbands are able to endure this oppressive state, usually a couple thus comes to the divorce, or the husband again begins to seek the comfort on the side. Never do that. Remember that if you really want to forgive your husband, you should just forget about this case forever.

"Tell me how to forgive betray a husband? We are married for 3 years. Externally, we have an ideal family. We have a little daughter. I have a prestigious and interesting job. We have no household and material problems.

When the husband looked after me, a more loving, gentle and responsive man was not. All told that I don't find a better husband and my attachment will continue to go into love. A year after the marriage, he began to lie to me on trifles and exercise unattractive features of his character (rudeness, impatience, irritability).

Several times we survived large quarrels. Then, in the hope that the relationship will improve, they decided to have a child. During my pregnancy, we also survived a few large quarrels (I did not want and could not tolerate violence against myself and my opinion). But it could not even assume that the danger lies at me very close.

My husband began to spend a lot of time with my girlfriend, while I "moved" after difficult births and nightlings with a child. In a very difficult time for me, it was entertained with that man with whom I was shared by everyone and who did not believe. And then he admitted everything, and she confirmed his words.

He said that she was not alien to him and he understood him, but I had forgotten him in concerns about the child. At first I wanted to take revenge in the same way, then I realized that this was not the best way. I do not want to divorce.

I think he loves me. It swings that it will never be a pain again. Sometimes it seems to me that they are still found. Or I already have a paranoia. How to return confidence? How to overcome it and her betrayal? How to forgive betray her husband? Jadwiga Pavllychik. "

Psychologist Elena Pryvayev answers

"All told that the best husband does not find and attachment will go into love" ... that is, you did not love him. And they got married, because "everything around" decided ... In fact, where justice: others were considered the best husband, and you have to live with him?

And who will now make complaints that you only have an externally prosperous family? Because the attachment in love has not crossed, and in a year problems began, natural for psychologically strangers, who again live like neighbors in a communal, despite the child.

Now let's talk about the child. The child does not improve relationships! Think: You cannot figure out each other together, and also "start" the third?! Although in principle, you can understand where the myth came from "if the relationship with my husband is spoiled - childbirth": a woman will switch from the role of his wife for the role of mother, it will completely distinguish from her husband, otherwise it will be angry with a child.

And everyone will be in itself ... Only requires the fulfillment of paternal duties from such a husband. He even before the birth of a child will go down what is called, in all serious. Like, the wife decided to get to her toy, and I will acquire my!

And he will start himself, for example, the mistress. Moreover, it is interesting: the more problemful childbirth and the postpartum period (and with such internal voltage in the family, this process is more often problematic for a woman), the less attentive to his wife's husband. Like, having fun, dear, you wanted this way!

And one more one hundred times the repeated "rule of security": Do not dedicate in your family problems and the secrets of even the closest girlfriends. If you need to say, please contact a diary or personal psychotherapist. It is safer.

You laid out your girlfriend all our weaknesses, and perhaps she envied you deep down somewhere. Your external well-being, your prestigious work, your material wealth ...

And since in the social sphere she could hardly beat you, then a natural step on her side was an attempt to lead your husband, especially when she learned that with an external well-being, your union was unreliable. Sorry, but for many friends, the temptation is greatly great!

However, the spouse does not want to completely part with you: maybe the reason for your prestigious position and prosperity (extracted clearly not without your help). Or maybe he needs a haremper from two ladies, which, besides, because of him almost defense. Therefore, maybe they are with your girlfriend and meet ...

You ask how to forgive her husband's treason and want to return trust, but sorry, you can not return what was not! You may be desperate to create a really perfect family (and this is in vain).

If you understand your feelings and not to tie yourself to a person who "I think he loves," and in fact there is no confidence in it, if you can feel yourself free, strong, independent of any girlfriends, then you have a lot chances for your own happiness.

No woman is insured against treason husband. Even the strongest pairs are destroyed from the appearance of the deliberate. Over the years of marriage, many are faced with a betrayal of her husband with the best friend or learn about the random sex with a colleague after a large dose of alcohol. Forgive treason difficult, regardless of its reasons . It is mistaken to assume that the mature woman is wiser, and it is easier for her to understand the man and cope with the offense. A young girl has everything ahead, and the wife, who believed that he lives in a happy marriage, the whole life collapses.

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How to cope with feelings

A man and a woman understand love in different ways. For an excellent half, this is care, attention and loyalty. Most men do not consider their treason for a divorce. Loving husband regrets his act and confident that the wife should forgive him, because he loves only her.

Having learned about the infidelity of the spouse, a woman overwhelm strong feelings: resentment, anger, hatred, pity for himself and even fear. Conduct with such a glance of feelings is very difficult. You can take a sedative or drink a glass of water with small sips. Give the will to tears and pay. There should be alone with him to understand whether she can forgive the classist and. And only then, finally calmed down, talk to her husband.

There is another behavior option. The wife begins to draw, begging without throwing her and children, falling towards him. Such a submissive and miserable behavior does not solve the problem of treason and does not paint a woman. It is difficult to stay calm, but some women succeed, even if they come home and see her husband in their common bed with the best friend.

Saving dignity and tranquility is very important when conversing adults. Especially in the event that the pair is not going to divorce. It does not matter under what circumstances it became known about the infidelity of her husband, the main thing, try to preserve common sense.

Brilliant revenge of her husband for treason

What will help forgive

There are different reasons why a woman does not want to divorce:

1. 1. Housing conditions. A woman has nowhere to go, and she does not want to leave the house in which the comfort created with her efforts.
2. 2. Little children. The husband is an excellent father, and for the sake of them worth keeping marriage.
3. 3. Pleasant memories. Happily lived years and many joyful moments still live in memory.
4. 4. Uncomfortable feelings. A woman does not represent life without a beloved spouse.

It will never happen to understand and forget, and if for one reason or another I want to save the family, you will have to try to forgive her husband's mistake and not to perceive treason as betrayal.

Making proliferation hits for pride. The first time, when you can't forgive your spouse, the feeling of betrayal and the resentment is not allowed to live quietly further. But if you want to live together and let me go out, it is necessary to take advantage of the advice of a psychologist for the preservation of the family:

• remember that you are friends, and talk about the reasons whipped it to treason;
• inform him that you do not want to make hasty decisions and make incorrect conclusions;
• together to think about the action plan and exit from the current situation;
• remind her husband that most recently he was in love.

If it fails to calm down and want to let him go or revenge, on the advice of psychologists it is necessary to do self-cultivation and meditation. In a relaxed atmosphere, think if there are wives of his wife in the passion for her husband's husband, and put themselves in his place. Often treason one is the wines of two.

How to establish the former life

If the decision is made in favor of the family, and life entered into the former calm bed, it is not necessary to spoil the sudden outbreaks of the resentment. It is better not to remember the treason at all and do not remind her husband. Relations and intimate life will also have to restore.